Saturday, September 12, 2009

The thing that isn't in a baby book.

[Waiting to get discharged]

Well, Mommy and Addison came home last night.

I should have been happy. Instead I was in a very very foul mood.

Maybe it was my emotions catching up. Maybe it was exhaustion from the up and down roller coaster of having a child. Maybe it was the 4 and a half hours of waiting to be discharged because Addison was a little jaundiced and they would not allow us to leave without a doctor's appointment. Maybe it was because when Addison was released, Audrey was finishing school and I could not be there to get her and my very gracious mother-in-law was there instead.

I am terrified that Audrey is going to think because I was with the baby, she was not as important.

Maybe my foul mood was attributed to the fact that I had a house full of people. Those people were my sister-in-law, mother-in-law and my 2 year old terror of a niece. To say terrible 2's would be an understatement. I more appropriate description would be that of an indoor tornado in potty training mode with a penchant for creating chaos and havoc in a 3 bedroom condo.

This particular 2 year old has a habit of making my dog restless, because the dog is restless it forces me to calm him down because of course you can't tell a 2 year old to calm down. My mother-in-law has a built in reflex of cooking [for which I am grateful] but also has a habit of commanding you "hold still" or "lean back a little" or "get a good one of her face" in order to get that good [read: bad] photo for the virtual shoebox.

But here is some advice for anyone wanting to welcome in a new family. This is to the extended family. When I say this, I think of Will when I say this.

If you want to be there when the new family comes home, sit down, shut-up, and if you can, get out of the way and make food.

My frustration level was at an all-time high yesterday. My mother-in-law was offering to do this, offering to do that, which in theory is a heartfelt thing to have happen, it gets really annoying and considering my short fuse yesterday, I almost blew it.

In my house, I love order. There are certain things that happen. This is this, that is that, and when you come to my house, sit down and shut-up. Seriously. Nothing wrong with being out of the way. The only thing I wanted to have happen yesterday was for Jenn to feed the baby, take a shower, eat a little, then go to bed. She needed to rest. These next 2 weeks, she needs to have time to recover. She just pushed a 9 pound baby out her vagina. Let her chill the fuck out. It was 11pm before everyone left and I got time to myself with the baby. Sitting there and telling her how to sit, or to say that the furniture in my house isn't good for her to sit in because it's so low is not a good way to relax her. I am sure she is going to sit whichever way is comfortable for her.

So to the grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends: If you want to be there, great, these are the rules. This is MY house. You have been a parent before me, and though I appreciate your practices, let me find my own way. I am blessed with instincts. Let me use them. Oh yeah, and stay the hell out of the rooms we are not in. My bedroom and dog cage is not a playground.

Ok enough ranting. I am in a much better mood today. It really isn't as hard as I made it out to be yesterday. My in-laws are great. My mom is great. My sister-in-law is great. When all I wanted was quiet and the commotion to end, I couldn't very well tell them to get the fuck out of my house. That's rude, although can be used in extreme situations.

More photos to come. A clean bill of health from the doctor today.


Caley Brown said...

Congrats on the baby!

Kelly Muys Wood said...

Congratulations! Adorable picture.


Vodka Logic said...

It all makss such perfect sense. Seriously I have read, somewhere years ago, that the first few days the baby is home stay away.

Glad you got it off your chest.


Oh and thanks for the link...I love guy blogs.

Ekanthapadhikan said...

Adorable pic. I know this is a difficult time, having to deal with all your in laws and wanting to spend some quite time with your baby. But Take it cool, man. This is all just a part of that intellectual human life we all lead!

CSUTechnology said...

We instituted a rule when caroline came home that no one was allowed to show up unannounced (no matter what you brought along). I also told people on more than one occasion that if they didn't like the way my house was they could leave.

FRANNIE said...

Congrats on the new baby!!

And I'm sure Addison is still basking in the glow of being a big sister. Don't be paranoid :)


JennyMac said...

What a pic..and this time, when you are really beginning your first days at home with a new little one, so critical that you do have space to find your own way. We opted to have as few visitors the first few weeks as possible. I hope you get the room you need to grow, try, and get buckled in for the ride.


omchelsea said...

gorgeous pic and congratulations. Lock the door and put up a sign. Seriously.

Will Burke said...

Thanks for the link, and the precious advice! It hadn't occured to me, but there's PLENTY of loving relatives & friends. Now's the time to figure out how to handle it. Last thing I want is to have to appologize for some snide comment I was too tired to filter out before saying!
PS I get the best Verification Words here! 'Mutha' before, now 'Prana,' the Yoga term for Breath/Chi/The Force.