Buzz Words

Wanna know what drives me nuts besides not writing?  Buzz words.  You know those words people say to show that they think they know what they are talking about. 

Need an example?  

I recently was having a conversation with someone in passing.  They recognized me from where I work full time, and they also knew that I wrote a blog.  Interesting how the two sides of my life meet every once in a while.

Anyway, they were talking about blogging and social network.  If I could get a nickle for every times they said content, media space, and unique hits I would have a shit load of nickles. 

So why do they drive me nuts?  Easy, because it's jargon.  It drives be bat shit crazy to hear people talk to one another like that, unless they are in the same business and that's the way they speak, but I write a blog and I do know that I am a content provider, but it doesn't mean I know what the hell I am talking about.

People throw these words around to show they are better than you, or to show they are smart for knowing the 'secret' language of the business.  Who gives a shit?  If I am talking with someone and they are using the lingo way too much, I know they are full of shit!

Remember the corporate buzz words from a few years ago?  Coach and develop? 

This shit drives me crazy.

Ripped Pants

I am going to make a resounding fuck you to my ass.  It's been just about a year since Jenn came down stairs and told me that my sperm fertilized her egg and that she was now pregnant.  Since then my ass has gotten bigger.

My ass has been reminding me that it's been getting bigger pretty regularly.  It all started when I was at work one day and I bent over.  I heard the first tear along the seem of my work pants while on the sales floor.  The tear wasn't too bad and I was able to work the rest of the day without anyone noticing.

You would think that this would be a warning to get my ass into shape.  Well like a husband to his nagging wife, I ignored the warning.  Over the weekend I my ass made a much larger statement.  It went right through a pair of pants.  A different pair.  It split a pair of pants from zipper to belt loop on the other side.

This happened on the sales floor once more.  As I rushed to the back of the store I was thinking, man, I am sure glad I was wearing underwear today.

What is a guy to do with is ass hanging out of his pants and 5 more hours in their shift?  I did what anyone would do.  I wrapped a sweater around my waist and ran to the Gap, just a few doors down and bought another pair of pants.

This time they were relaxed fit and slightly stretchy.

My ass needs to go on a diet.  No more eating crap.  Walking the dog everyday.  Doing something but sleeping when I get home from work.

Right.

I am gonna have to go on a lifestyle change.  Just need to find time to fit that in my schedule.   

I can help, really.

There has been an ongoing Twitter convo between my blog pal Vodka Logic and myself over the past few days. Because I work in the cell phone industry she has tweeted that I needed to help Tiger delete shit off his phone in an effort to conceal his 'transgretions'.

Although I posted yesterday about Tiger and the whores who loved him, I decided that I needed to post again on the subject, because if it's worth doing, then it's worth OVER doing.

So I wanted to start with just some commentary that started yesterday and I needed to continue it today.  If you recall, I was talking about the women who have come forward to throw Tiger under the bus Escalade.

I saw this report this morning on the Today Show, and I need you to watch for my next comments to make sense.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Can you believe some of this garbage?

Let's take it from the top.

Jamiee Grubs.  Are you fucking kidding?  "He never mentioned his wife, I would have never pursued him had he not pursued me.."

Really?  Where the hell do you live?  Last I checked you lived in America.  Because you are a woman, I am going to assume you have been to the website TMZ.  Here are some photos I have found on TMZ that would indicate that he was married.

[This is Tiger and HIS WIFE at the Ryder Cup! His Wife.]

So Ms. Jamiee Grubbs, you may be able to play the innocent 20 something on Extra, but I am not buying it for one second.  You kept text messages and voicemails over the course of a few years.  You are an extortionist, and a money hungry bitch.  Regardless if Tiger talked about his wife or not, he was married.  I don't buy your story.  You are not some innocent victim.  You are an active participant in this whole thing.

Next, a porn star is talking about how [SHE BANGED SHE BANGED] Tiger.  Nice work, who else have you banged?  Sorry too harsh.  But unlike the Jamiee, you knew he was married and you were proud of it.  I wouldn't have labeled you as a whore for being a porn star.  You are just trying to make a buck.  But when you talk about having sex with a married man and then you brag about it, then that is when I would call you a whore.  Don't mistake me, I think Tiger is wrong too, but there is enough shit going on out there that is ripping him apart, I am just trying to even out the coverage.

Now on to part 2 of the blog.

How can I help you cover your tracks, just in case you need to hide a 'transgression'.  Believe it or not, I have helped jerks hide their tracks at work all the time. 

1.  Do not text message anyone.  They are a written record of you.  When you are as big of a star as you are, it's rather easy to confirm the owner of any number.You never know when some enterprising bitch will leak them to TMZ.

2.  Do not leave voicemail to anyone unless it's your wife, husband, or mom.  Again, the less evidence out there the better.  If YOU got a voicemail, then delete that shit quickly.  Again, a snooping spouse can find shit.

3.  If you are cheating on your spouse, you need to start memorizing phone numbers.  Do not under any circumstances put that person in your phone under their real name.  Again, a snooping spouse can find those and call them.  Awkward alert!

4.  [see #3] If you are not able to memorize numbers, then you need to put their mistresses phone number under a good friend's contact profile.  Like for instance, your agent.  His job is to remember the bitches you have slept with so he can do damage control.  If your agent fucks this up, then you need a new agent.

5.  [see #4] If you have a really good agent, have him keep all the numbers of the bitches you slept with, and call him when you want to talk to them.  He can forward your call to the bitches in question and then you don't have to lie and you can just say, I was just talking to my agent.

6.  Do not fly your mistress to exotic destinations if you are rich.  I have seen many movies where people fly out and meet a mistress only to have their spouse fly in unexpectedly to surprise them.

7.  Get a prepaid cell.  Untraceable as far as a bill in your box is concerned.

8.  Make sure the person you cheat on your spouse with is richer than you.  That way they aren't money hungry and will sell their story to the highest bidder.  Expanding on that thought, make sure they have more to lose than you.

9.  Make sure the person you cheat on your spouse with is also WAY better looking than your current spouse.  I know this isn't the time for thinking of the spouse's self esteem, but this forethought can go a long way in a divorce proceding.

10.  If you do not have the ability to remember number's 1-9 without writing them down, then here is the easy way out.  DON'T FUCKING CHEAT ON YOUR SPOUSE!

I hope this helps you in the future.

Also, this is in response to the woman who stopped legislation to honor Tiger in his professional achievements, you are a stupid bitch.

I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger!

Have you never made a mistake?  No?  Well ok you must be Jesus. 

Like you, I have been watching the coverage on Tiger Woods.  Just like I watched the coverage on Bill Clinton, John Edwards, and who ever else you can name that has diddled someone else besides their wife.

This kind of thing, sorry to say, happens all the time.  It doesn't get the least bit of coverage unless it's someone famous. 

I've watched this drama unfold on CNN about Tiger and his voicemails.  Tiger and his Cadillac.  Tiger and another woman besides the one he was already doing.  I am tired of it.  In less than a week Tiger went from being the best golfer in the world, and that's it, to Tiger, the adulterer and drug addict. 

I don't understand.  We built Tiger up to be this amazing golfer, but yet we tear him down immediately when he breaks the mold we had for him in our mind.  We saw him as squeaky clean, can do no wrong, family man, husband.  Now that we see that he is a little human we call him things like bastard, asshole, and dickhead.

He is human.  Like you and me.  He is not different in the end.  So instead of hammering your imaginary gavel and judging him in the courtroom of your mind, think about it this way.  Would you want people talking about you in the same sense if it came out you diddled your baby sitter 3 weeks ago with your spouse upstairs?  Or while you were on a business trip you got loaded and headed to the strip club and you broke the 'no sex in the champagne room' rule?  Would you want your dirty laundry aired for all to see and have your peers instantly judging you based solely on your indiscretions?

The truth is, no one knows what is happening to Tiger, but Tiger.  I don't care how many inside sources you have, no one is going to know the whole story but Tiger and his wife. 

I think it's complete bullshit that we have gone so far into the story as we have. 

Leave the man alone.  Let him either work things out with his wife or let them get divorced.  In the end it's not our business.

Now, for all those women 'coming out'.  Put your gold digger bitch personalities back into your purse and go home.  Yes, Tiger cheated on his wife with YOU.  You are not some unknowing pawn.  You are a conscious partner in this whole masquerade.  The reason you dropped your panties and let him stick it in you is because you wanted to be able to blackmail him later.  You didn't 'love' him.  You didn't care about him.  You wanted what was in his pockets.  Sure, there are two parts to all the stories, but if YOU knew he was married, than why did you even show him the time of day?

Call me crazy, but if a MARRIED guy walked up to you, and YOU KNEW HE WAS MARRIED, and he starts to make advances to you, wouldn't you think he was creepy, an asshole, and a dick?  He was married and it's not like it was a secret Tiger was married. 

So for all you women out there that were WRONGED by Tiger.  Go back to the hole you crawled out of, and get a job.  That is what Tiger did to get all his money.

Move Along

Ok, so last night, I may or may not have cracked open a bottle of merlot.  I also may or may not have drank 2 full glasses.  I also may or may not have passed out and don't remember going to bed. 

So today's blog is brought to you by the letter combination M-E-R-L-O-T. 


If you are not on twitter, please get on it, and then promptly follow me.  We have some good discussions throughout the day. 

Get on it.

A Christmas Carol: a day at the theater

The theater.  A world that allows us to step back in time to enjoy a form of entertainment that this world is lacking.  Live action acting.  Sets changing right in front of your eyes without you really knowing anything.  It's kind of like reading a book and watching a movie all at once.  You have to use your imagination a little, but not so much you cannot enjoy the acting on stage.

Theater.  My wife and I have a soft spot for it.  In high school we were in the drama club.  Outside of school, Jenn was part of a theater company in our home town and still continues to do so to this day.  This year Audrey is taking part in this year's production of Annie and thus we are spreading our love of the theater to our children.

Theater.  Besides old time radio serials, theater is my favorite form of entertainment.

Yesterday Jenn and I got to go to the theater.  For those reading outside Cleveland, you can get more information about Playhouse Square here.  Going out to the theater in my mind is like going out to a fancy dinner.  If the movie theater is the McDonald's of entertainment, and local theater companies are like T.G.I. Friday's, than going to a Broadway show is like going out to a 4 diamond dinner.

Jenn and I were running late to the show.  As we pulled into my mom's house our dear little shit monster named Addison decided to fill her britches.  The process of stripping down and the feeding the baby took a little longer than anticipated.  We were close to 45 minutes from downtown and now only have 30 minutes to get there on-time.  So I decided to drive like some sort of Nascar driver down the shoreway to Playhouse Square.

I slid our overweight beast of an SUV into the undersized parking space.  It's like trying to put on a pair of pants from high school.  Sure I could slip them on, but I wouldn't wear them out anywhere.

Jenn was hauling ass towards the theater entrance.  She is not a fan of arriving late, but then again, we have arrived late twice to the theater.  Once during Phantom of the Opera, and now this time.  As we hauled ass down the stairs to the walkway of the theater I noticed something.  I noticed amid all the Jaguars, Mercedes, and BMW's a vehicle that surely did not fit in.

The Lincoln Mark LT pickup truck.  Yeah, I know.  Lincoln made a pick-up truck?  As we passed a sign pointing us to the walkway to the theater, I was thinking, if you drive a Lincoln pick-up truck, does that make you high class white trash?

We arrived so late we had to sit in temporary seats in the back of the house until intermission.  Intermission hits and Jenn ran to the bathroom as she skipped the stop on the way in, because she didn't want to be later than we already were.

As we found our real seats Jenn pointed out something striking.  People were coming back to their seats from intermission with snacks.  Soft pretzels, M&M's, Pepsi's, Water, and popcorn.  Since when did they let food into the theater?  I remember a time you were banished to the lobby to eat your intermission snack, but here I sat, in a crowded theater, with the lady next to me spilling into my seat as she noshed down a bag of M&M's.

Call me old fashioned, but food, snacks, and drinks do not have a place in the theater.  It is too distracting. As you are enjoying the climax of the production, you hear little Jimmy behind you burp after sucking down his soda.  You strain to hear the actor over the lady next to you as she shoves the remaining M&M's in her mouth.  Distractions.  If you cannot enter a theater during the opening number, you shouldn't be able to sit in the theater chomping down on snacks that have no business being outside a stadium.

To go one step further, you can make a correlation between snackers and jean wearers.  Don't even get me started on THAT subject.

So next time you go to the theater, leave the snacks in the lobby, down your drinks early, and if you cannot sit through 2 hours of theater without shoveling in empty carbs, than you have a bigger problem than hunger.

*photo credit here  

Recapping the week that was.

I am having trouble finding the words I need.  This past week was probably the best week ever. 

Lemme take it from the top.

In the midst of a busy Black Friday weekend, my ambitious Wifey decided to have some friends over for dinner.  It was just a small gathering of 10 people.  This was the first large scale entertaining we have ever done. Sure, we have had the proverbial cookout, but a cookout is a little different than a Thanksgiving dinner.  Cooking some burgers on a grill.....preparing a turkey for roasting.  3 pounds of flesh...20 pounds of flesh.

Thanksgiving is 10x harder, especially when you have a hardheaded wife determined to do it all herself.  For those who followed her Twitter Feed that day, thanks for the encouraging words, because she did a fantastic job.  The only thing I can take credit for is the turkey.  She cooked everything from the corn pudding to the pumpkin pie. 

Here are just a few shots from the evening.

[The Turkey.  Salt Water Brine.  Coated in a pound of butter.  Seasoned with salt and pepper and filled with apples and onions and celery and NEVER BASTED]

[The guests. L-R: The Wife, Jenn P, Pat, Julie, the Audrey, Devon, Brendan, Josh, Carrie, and Lee]

So with the big dinner out of the way, next on the social calendar was dinner with Josh and Carrie on Wednesday.  I wrote about that experience here.  I can't say enough good things about that night.  I was so proud of Audrey.  She is really coming into her own and becoming quite the foodie. 

Now the next day, I committed myself to a fundraiser at The Greenhouse Tavern.  I wrote about that night here.  Again, I can't say enough great things about THAT night either.  I met so many like-minded people it made my head spin.  My Twitter following has nearly doubled as a result of that evening, and I continue to get photos in my inbox about that night.  Here are a few of the latest photos I got from Blog it Forward, #cocktailsforanissa. 

[Chef Symon, Carrie, Chef Josh, and Wifey]

[The Chef and The Chef talking about what chefs talk about]

Now today we have another night out.  3 nights out in one week.  How exciting my life has become!  Anyway, I won tickets from work to see A Christmas Carol at Playhouse Square this afternoon.  Can't wait to make it out to the theater, it's been a very long time. 

So that is the week that was.  This isn't the most entertaining post I have had, but I am so damn tired from this week, I need to take a nap!

Let's hope the next few weeks are just as awesome as this past week was!

What would YOU do?

[The photo of Michael Symon telling me (you can see my hair only) that he read my blog.  Chef Pallardy and the Wifey.  photo courtesy of Chef's Widow]

So for the past few posts my blog has been an uber love fest for Michael Symon.  I have trepidation about posting this for a few reasons.  The world doesn't need another Michael Symon story, and I don't want to embarrass my friends, but then again, fuck it, Symon is the shit, and if you can't take some hazing from me at some point, you need to hang out with me more.

So, like I stated before, I was at this fundraiser.  The fundraiser brought out the geek elite, the Cleveland Bloggers to The Greenhouse Tavern.  It also brought out Michael Symon. It also raised over $1K too.

Now over the Thanksgiving holiday a good friend of mine and his wife and new son drove from Washington D.C.  My friend Josh is a chef in the Joint Chiefs of Staff Dining Room at the Pentagon.  Yes, THE Pentagon.

The weeks leading up to his leave to come home, we chatted online about what we wanted to do, and planned our nights out because of my limited shitty retail schedule. I had 2 days off while they were in town and Michael Symon is his idol.  Is that what you call someone you look up to?  Anyway, his goal for his trip out was to go a Michael Symon restaurant [Bar Symon], and have great great food.  I mean we did both.  And by did both, I mean my tastebuds needed the morning after pill.

So, we went to this fundraiser and across the room was Josh's idol.  The reason that keeps him running in his day to day grind.  Symon was chilled out, having a quiet dinner with his wife and talking to the people he knew there.  At one point he was heading out, and he walked through the bar and just chatted.  I glanced over and saw my good friend Kasey talking to THE Symon.  After she had her convo, she came over and I said, Josh has been dieing to meet him.  He is a culinary God to Josh as he also just a plain ole GOD to the rest of Cleveland.

So Kasey kind of looked at Josh sideways.  You know the way you look at someone when you want to tell them they don't make any sense.

"Well, go introduce yourself!" Kasey said.

Josh was nervous.  "Adam, you coming with?"

That's when Kasey chimed in.  "Aren't you in the military?  You went through boot camp, and you can't walk over there and just say hi to Michael Symon?  You don't have the cajones to do that?" [I'm paraphrasing.  The wine has dulled my memory]

That was all the encouragement he needed and off he went.  He walked up to the Chef and said hello.  Chef to Chef.

The rest as they say is history, but I think it's a pretty funny observation.

I mean Josh was deployed in the desert.  He has experienced a mortar attack on foreign soil.  He has fired an M-16.  He cooks for some of the MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN THE WORLD, and he couldn't muster the courage without a little encouragement.

I think Symon should have been nervous to shake hands with Josh honestly.  I mean Symon cooks for us common folk.  He doesn't cook for the Joint Chiefs of Staff in the biggest office building in the world.

What would you do if you were suddenly across the room from your idol?  Would you say hello?

I know I would say hello if given the opportunity.

What would YOU do?

#cocktailsforanissa

There are things I have learned since starting this blog.  You never know who you are going to meet.  You never know where you will find yourself.  You never know why things happen the way they do, but in the end, things happen for a reason.

Last night was something magical.

Fellow blogger Chef's Widow [who recognized me and knew my name which was just a shock to me] was called into action by a tragedy.  Anissa, a fellow blogger out there in the world, who was only 35 or so, had 2 strokes.  She was in a coma.  She is in bad shape.  The Widow decided to throw a party in her honor.  So the "Blog it Forward" dubbed #cocktailsforanissa was born.  She was donating proceeds to Anissa's family to help with whatever they needed help with.  The Cleveland Blogging community stepped it up and came forward to "Blog it Forward".  We all need good Karma, and we all need to have those little guardian angels.  

Not only was this my opportunity to help out a great cause, which by the way was able to raise $300+ in a 50/50 raffle, but it also afforded me the opportunity to head out to the Greenhouse Tavern.  I have talked about it.  I have watched many videos about the place, but I have never had the opportunity to head down to the Tavern to enjoy the deliciousness that is Jonathon Sawyer's cooking.

I have been dreaming of having his much raved beef tartar.  I have never had beef tartar before, so what better time to try it.  I just hope I am not spoiled from it.  The texture of the raw beef, the seasoning, the garlic in the fries.  It was just heaven on a plate.  I also had 2 plates of crispy fried chicken wings with the wife's help, which were out of this world.  This stuff had sex with my taste buds.  That's the best way I could tell you.  I loved it all!

Now, the Widow was able to pull out some amazing people.  Just to mention a few of them, we had Tony Ramos, Kasey Crabtree [which you met last Saturday], Jeanne from Life in Cleveland, Alexa from Cleveland's a Plum, Amelia from Chef's Widow, Rima from Rimarama, KaKaty, Josh a.ka. Chef Pallardy, Carrie from Shawnee's Girl, Julie from West of Cleveland, and who am I forgetting?  Oh yeah, Michael Symon.

I don't want to go on and on about Michael Symon, I did that enough yesterday, but I DO want to share a little story.

Like I said before, you never know who is reading your blog, but something funny happened.  In the midst of all the chaos, somehow I was able to get my good friend Chef Pallardy to go introduce himself.  While they were chatting about being chef's and what not, before he walked away I was able to say, "Hey Chef, just wanted to say my 7 year old daughter loved your roasted bone marrow at Bar Symon last night."

He stopped turned around and said, "YOU'RE the dude who wrote that today?  I totally read that, she also had the goat cheese mac n cheese huh?"

My heart skipped a beat.  He read my blog.  I was so floored I just stopped and said, "Dude, you read but didn't comment you bastard."

He laughed and went on his way after posing for a picture with Chef Pallardy and his wife and MY wife.  I took the picture, but I don't need my picture with him.  Michael Symon is a totally nice dude.  I could drink with him more often.  I'm sure he has some great stories.

Talking about nice dude's Chef Sawyer was an amazing guy too.  I was able to stop and talk to him very shortly as he had a kitchen to run, but I did make sure to comment on his beef tartar. He also was explaining sustainability, and things like that.  I am not much of a tree hugger, but I definitely respect a guy who has convictions like that.  I think we all need something to believe in.  I was inspired by him and his wife.  If I could have a FRACTION of the success they have worked for, I would be a happy guy.   

Last night was so amazing I am having a hard time writing about it.  There were just so many layers to the evening, I am having trouble with it.  I could write a blog about every person I met, but I think somehow you would get bored.

All in all I loved the Green House Tavern.  They definitely deserve all the praise and acclaim they have gotten over the past year.  Thanks to Chef's Widow for hosting and putting together such a great event to meet other great twitterers and bloggers from the good ole Cleveland. 

I'm sure there will be future blogs posts and photos about the debauchery that happened there.  Many many disposable cameras have completely random photos of us just drinking and having a good time! 

If you want to read more about #cocktailsforanissa and relive the fun we had, go to twitter and search the hashtag in the title.  It was a fantastic evening I really enjoyed being a part of.

Roasted Bone Marrow anyone?

It feels so great to be back from the long weekend.  I hope you enjoyed all my guest bloggers while I was away.  Kasey was calling them Adam's Angels.  I would have to agree.  So from the bottom of my heart, thank you to Kasey, Laura, Ashley, Jules, and last but not least, my wife, Mrs. Throwing Quarters. 

It was a long weekend and I couldn't have blogged even if I wanted to.  I also want to thank you for all the great comments you have left for all my guest bloggers.  Thank you thank you and again, thank you.

So, now that I am back, what should I talk about?  Should I talk about mean customers?  No.  Been there done that.  Should I talk about the awesome Thanksgiving dinner we had this past Sunday?  Yes, but not right now.  I want to talk about food, but I want to share a more recent story.

When you go out to eat, what goes through your head as a parent?  Do you instantly think of what the kids menu is before you leave because you want to make sure your child eats?  What happens? 

It can be a point of anxiety for many parents.  For me?  I don't even care.  I go eat where I want to eat, and I know if I take Audrey along, she is going to eat something.  She isn't going to look for chicken fingers, Kraft macaroni, or pizza unless it's given as a choice.  She is a typical 7 year old.  She likes those things, I cannot fault her.  But as of late she has been asking for things I am not expecting her to ask for.  "Dad, can I try that mustard over there?" or "Dad, I'm not sure if I like it, but can I try that A-1 steak sauce?" or "Dad I don't like those sweet potatoes, but I tried them." 

She does this without me asking.  It literally warms my heart.  I have tried and tried and tried to give Audrey more than just the crap you can get on a kids menu at any restaurant chain.  She orders off it when available, but I don't fret when we go somewhere that doesn't have a published kids' menu.

Audrey and I watch Top Chef together all the time.  I am trying to show her that people get excited about food.  We watch Iron Chef.  We watch Diners, Drive In's, and Dives.  She gets excited about food. 

Well when I told her that my friends Josh and Carrie were coming in from out of town, we are all going to Bar Symon, she was more than excited. 

My friend Josh is a chef in the Joint Chiefs of Staff's Dining Room at the Pentagon, and a total food guy.  So when Michael Symon built a restaurant in our home town, we had to make sure he went while he was on leave. 

Audrey walked around school for weeks telling her classmates and teachers that SHE was going to Bar Symon and that she was excited.  She had no clue about the menu, but she was excited to go.  I knew the menu enough to know that there was something for her on it, but she is the big girl, she can pick what ever she wanted.

 [panorama shot from the table. You can see the Wifey, Audrey, and Josh's Wife Carrie]

So let's go through the progression last night.  Josh ordered the Roasted Bone Marrow for an appetizer.  His wife, Carrie, and I have read the Julie and Julia Project so we were curious about what roasted bone marrow was.  Josh had it many times in his line of work, but Carrie and I thought it was like a unicorn.  Something everyone always talked about but no one ever saw in the wild.  We have yet to see it on any menu at any restaurant we have ever been to.  Now I know there are some great French restaurants out there, but I have never seen this in the wild.  

To the table came the Bone Marrow [pictured to the left] served right in the bone.  Carrie dove in first, and I was just so excited to try it that I almost jumped out of my skin when Audrey said this:

"Dad, can I try it?"

What?  What does your kid eat again?  Oh that's right, Kraft Macaroni N Cheese off the mother fucking kids menu.

So with delight Josh scooped up some roasted bone marrow onto the toast it was served with and just watched, with my mouth gaping open.  What she said next I almost peed my pants.

"Wow, Dad, I like this, can I have more?"

What?  Yeah you have trouble getting your kid to eat chicken fingers at Friday's, my child eats roasted bone marrow!  You know the stuff from INSIDE the bones of a cow!  She eats that! And she asked for more!

So the waiter, named Steve, yeah he was that good I remembered his name, came back to take dinner orders and Audrey decided to try something I was equally impressed with.  Goat Cheese Mac N Cheese.  She knew it was not Kraft, but then again there is comfort in knowing your pasta is about to be smothered with cheese. 

I looked around.  There were other parents there with their children, all eating off the non published kids' menu.  Buttered noodles, chicken fingers, and who knows what else was on there.  Audrey was ordering off the big kids menu and loving it.  Score one for my daughter!  Even the wife was impressed!

Later on in the night I let Audrey's mom know what she ate and she sent back, Eww, that sounds gross. 

I just sighed in frustration and why doesn't anyone else think that this is the coolest thing in the world?!

So I ordered a braised pork shank, because let's face it, pigs are tasty.  That is also pictured.  The wife got the burger.  But Audrey kept tasting everything.  She tried the braised pork shank, the goat cheese mac n cheese [which she loved btw], and even the Bar Symon burger.  Along with the Bacon and Apple Bread Pudding, Brown Butter Whipped Potatoes, and many many other great things! 

For dessert we tried every dessert they had.  It was just a magical night all around.  Good brews, good eats, and good conversation.

It's always nice to talk to someone about Cleveland when they are away from Cleveland.  You can see a bigger picture of Cleveland and not the narrow-minded views of the residents.  The can't see the forest from the trees I believe is the analogy.  Cleveland, as it turns out, has become a travel spot for foodies.  I have read about this in the times, but I have yet to have it confirmed by someone outside Cleveland that I actually knew.

Anyway, our tour of Cleveland Food resumes tonight as Josh, Carrie, and the Wife head down to the Greenhouse Tavern for Blog it Forward Happy hour.  If you don't have anything to do, get down there.  There is more info about it here. 

Don't Tell Horror Stories [Guest Post from Mrs. Throwing Quarters]

After months and month and months of asking begging my wife to write a blog, she finally did.  This is our funny story of having a baby, but from my wife's point of view.  She was the one doing all the work, I was the one who was blogging the whole time, and tweeting, and doing nothing but encouraging her to push harder.

Welcome the wifey officially to the blog.  She has also gotten on the Twitter bandwagon and you can follow her here.  

Today is my first day off, whew, what a long weekend.

-Adam

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I found out I was pregnant on New Years Eve last year.

With in a week of finding out I was pregnant people started telling me how horrible their labor was, or stories of their horrible pregnancy.  Let me tell you this is a sure fire way to scare a newly pregnant woman, especially if this is their first pregnancy.  My niece turned two last april and I remember my sister's pregnancy well.  She was put on bed rest at six months because she went into preterm labor.  We were all so worried for her and the baby.  Then last year at this time she lost a baby, it was heartbreaking.  All this was already in my mind when the doctor confirmed that I was pregnant, could any of her problems be hereditary? Would I have these problems?  Was there anything I could do to help make sure I didn't have these problems?

My sister is younger than I am, she's healthy and active, not that I'm too old or unhealthy but I'm not as active as she is, would I be more at risk?  All these thoughts flooded my brain and made me worry more than enough before I started hearing other peoples "traumatic" stories.

Some of these women told me things that made me wonder why they had had more than one child, especially at the same hospital!  My mother treated me to a pedicure when I was about 6 months along, noticeably pregnant but not huge.  The lady doing my pedicure asked me if this was my first and then proceeded to tell me that with her first (of three) children the doctor sowed a towel inside of her while stitching her up after delivery, causing an infection and lots of pain.  She had a horror story for all three of her children and one from her sister, the towel one was the one that stuck with me the most.

My husband (you all know him if you're reading this blog :) likes documentaries and had gotten one from Netflix about childbirth.  Now I am a strange kind of person.  I wanted to know just enough to understand what was happening to my body and to the baby but not so much that I sit around and worry about what is going to happen to my body and the baby.  I wanted to know just enough to ease some of the unknown fears but not enough to sit around and stress myself out about what is to come. 

I loved that my doctor seemed to understand that and respected my wishes.  This also means that I was not one of the women who rents videos about childbirth or visits birthing centers, it's wonderful if that is what you want, I just know that I didn't want that and I was ok with that. 

I had my plan, an epidural early and strong!  The women that want natural childbirth are awesome and strong if that is what they want but I think it varies for every woman and basically no matter how you chose to approach it the fact that you are bringing another life into this world is an awesome thing.  Any choice a woman makes is the right one for her, and the only women that I can't stand are the ones that think any medication for any woman is the wrong choice.  If you don't want them then more power to you but if you do then that is just fine!  I can't imagine why any one wouldn't want the aid of meds but that's just me.

Well anyway, this documentary my husband had was made by Ricki Lake during her second pregnancy.  She had not felt like she was a real part of her first child's birth (bur really how could you not be right?) because she had been medicated.  So she followed three separate women during their delivery, one of them being herself.  The whole point of the film, in my opinion, was to try and scare women into having natural childbirth, but for me it only solidified my choice to be medicated!  The film talked about all these strange ways they used to deliver babies, and all the "possible" side effects of the medications they give us now.  There were all these doctors from other countries talking about what wimps Americans are for using medications for easing labor.  Then we actually watched these women have their children.

WOW!!!  Everyone of theses women screamed in agony,  begged for it to stop, or cried and cussed.  Now really can you tell me how that is "enjoying the process of birth"?  I looked at Adam and told him if he didn't turn the movie off I wasn't having this baby (now mind you I was probably about seven months along at this point :)

With all these stories floating in my mind along with the normal first time pregnant jitters I was beginning to really freak myself out.  As I was leaving work one of my last nights one of the girls asked how I was holding up.  I admitted to being scared and worried that I wouldn't be able to do it.  She looked me straight in the eyes and said "Is it comfortable? no. Is it fun? no.  But is it worth it? yes! absolutely! if it weren't no one would ever have more than one."

I held on to that thought all the way through till they took me into the delivery room.  I will not be a woman who tells horror stories.  Why? Because I don't have any!!  The worst part of the whole thing for me was the nerves going into it.  In fact I have a funny story to tell.

I was induced, being nine days late, so there was no natural progression of contractions, no natural water breaking, it was all done at the hospital, which I definitely didn't mind.  While waiting for the epidural they gave me another drug that didn't work as well and I don't remember, but Adam says I stated that "man, this shit hurts!"  :)

Shortly after that I was given the wonderful epidural.   After that I felt nothing but a touch of pressure when I had  contractions, it was wonderful!  I was able to talk to my husband and the nurses and my doctor with a clear head.  I knew what I was thinking and wasn't out of my mind in pain.  I remember the process of pushing and was able to hear and understand my doctor, and was completely clear headed when they handed me my baby.  Even the process of getting the epidural wasn't as bad as I was afraid of.  Now here is the funny story that you may pass on to any pregnant woman that you may know.

They had given me a very large cup of water (which I didn't expect) to help keep my hydrated.  I was still very nervous about what was yet to come, and I'll admit I was worried about not being able to control having to pee with the effects of the epidural and not feeling much.  Well the nurse did one of those questions that wasn't really a question more like an order.  "Would you like a popsicle?" which translated into "You will now be eating a popsicle, what color would you like?"  we even joked a little when she left the room to go get it.

She brought my the popsicle and opened it up, giving me no choice but to eat it.  Well (here is the funny part)  one of the other nurses came in and decided they needed to catheterize me and empty my bladder.  Now if anyone has had a catheter before you know they are not really very fun, I remember my sister had to be catheterized after she had her baby because she wasn't moving any urine and I remember her being in tears about it.  I was a little nervous but then realized that I had an open popsicle in my hands.  It's a popsicle, what do you do with an open popsicle?  Nothing, you just keep eating it.  They laid the bed down and did their thing and I laid in that bed staring at the ceiling and eating my grape popsicle.  It was hilarious!    

When the nurses left the room for a minute we laughed about how silly that was, and even kind of gross in a way.  After everything was all over I was amazed.  I was exhausted and it hadn't been fun or comfortable but damn it sure had been worth it!  As soon as they handed me my beautiful baby I was ready to do the whole thing over again!  A few months of uncomfortable and a few hours of really uncomfortable and they hand you a beautiful baby!!  Afterwards when Adam asked me if I'd do it again I said absolutely but I didn't have any horror stories to pass on to any other new moms.  He laughed and said "Tell them about you're popsicle" so I have told the several of my married friends that are talking about having babies, but are nervous, "Is it comfortable? no.  Is it fun? no.  But is it worth it? Oh yes!! and then I tell them to have a popsicle!

Real vs. Artificial [Guest Post from Just Jules]

The last guest blogger is Jules from the blog Just Jules.  A great blogger and she has become a good friend.  She has made an appearance on the podcast and I have made an appearance on her blog.  Her post is great and I hope you enjoy.  Make sure you go over and visit her blog.  

Can't wait for that day off coming tomorrow!

-Adam

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Real vs. Artifical

Real vs Artificial? I was asked this question in an e-mail last week. I know that the sender was referring to Christmas trees. The answer was easy. We always have a real tree, no question there. In fact, most year we have two trees... However, this week I have been thinking about that question differently.

Real vs Artificial what kind of Christmas do I want to have this year? The last few years feel like they have been artificial Christmases. It seems that I have just been going through the motions; making sure we were where we should be when we should be, with the gifts we should bring. I have been making sure the kids are dressed nicely and are behaving. I have been smiling and laughing at the right times and ignoring what would otherwise drive me over the edge on any other day. Gifts have been open, thank yous have been exchanged, and meals have been eaten. But, has any of it been real? Have I enjoyed any of it?

Now before you start thinking that I am a scrooge let me just point out that my husband and I favored the holiday so much we were married at Christmastime 11 years ago! I used to be so crazy about Christmas that I would start counting down the days right after my birthday in July! However, lately, things have not been the same.

So, why? Part of it I believe is that we now have 4 beautiful bright eyed children who ARE so excited for Christmas. Not that the children are a problem - the problem is that when you are the one that needs to make the season wonderful it loses some of it's wonder for you. I could compare it to cooking all day for Thanksgiving. By the time you eat the food you have worked so hard on you are no longer hungry. This is how Christmas has been for me.

Now what? Now, I try to make Christmas this year real. I want to really enjoy this holiday. My children are getting older and are requiring less hands on attention. So, I am trying to make a point to remember the real reason for the season. This is Christ's birthday - his day. Not Target's day (goodness knows they rake in enough this time of year!) I am going to follow my kid's lead. Enjoy the wonder through their eyes. This is a time for family, friends, and feeling warm and safe. A time of good food and good times. I am hoping to search out the meaningful times this year and enjoy them. I am not going to ignore conflict until it hurts but I am not going to seek it out either. I want this year to be different, I want this year to be real - not artificial.

Throwing Quarters Poetry Jam [Guest Post from Vodka Logic]

Today's guest blogger is Laura from Vodka Logic.  Laura and I have become good good buddies via Twitter.  She decided to bring a spice of poetry to a blog that is sorely lacking that style.  

Not many people know this but I am published twice as a poet.  Once when I was 17 in high school.  Once as an adult in a poetry anthology.  I have a duct tape book filled with poetry.  Maybe one day I will dust it off and give you a taste of the rhymes I can spit.  Until then, enjoy Laura and her word wizardry 

-Adam

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Hello TQ fans. I want to thank Adam for this opportunity to post as a guest on his blog. The poor guy will be so swamped with us unruly Christmas shoppers that he asked for some help on his blog. Here's mine I call it.........


An Ode to Adam

Hello, I’m your guest blogger today,
Adam is busy slaving away.

Working hard to earn a living,
Twelve hours a day to his boss he is giving.

He asked for bloggers to fill in the gaps,
Didn’t want his site to go empty and lapse.

Some blogger girls offered their skills,
Let’s hope his readers don’t run for the hills.

No guys seemed to jump at the chance,
Cowards I’m thinking, the thought made them blanche.

The challenge for me was what topic to write,
An Eden Fantasy review, or would his readers take flight.

I wanted to be funny, charming and witty,
Like Adam can be, hope he likes my ditty.

This poem popped into my head while at work,
In the middle of the night, it did make me smirk.

So the topic it seems is really nothing at all,
Throwing Quarters may not notice while at work at the mall.

I’ll sneak this blog in and hope he won’t see,
Selling phones for Christmas, on sale says the marquee.

Before this gets epic and runs on too long,
I’ll leave you all with this Mommy blogger song.

Call of Duty [Guest Post from Through the Grapevines]

Today's blog come from Ashley over at Through the Grapevines.  To tell you the truth, I had no idea what to expect.  She was a recent addition to my blog roll and I must say, I have enjoyed her posts. What she came up with is just plain funny, and sad, but mainly funny. 


Her blog today is filled with hilarity and a Call of Duty obsession.  By obsession I mean---well nevermind just read it.

--Adam

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{Hi. You’ve reached the voicemail of Adam from Throwing Quarters. Sorry he’s not available to take your call right now. Please leave a message after the beep.}

I’ve got to admit, when Adam asked me to write a guest post here, I may have peed my pants a little! (read the true blogosphere fairy tale here) In all seriousness though, I’m so honored to be given such a great platform for my voice today. I’m just a little old  unknown blogger with a whole lot of opinions! I hope my post today inspires you and, at the very least, entertains you. If you’re interested in reading more, you can follow my blog, Through the Grapevines or stalk  me on Twitter.

I know that hate is a really strong word, but I really hate video games. (Oh hello, hate mail?) I hate the stupid sounds. I hate the unrealistic graphics. I pretty much hate everything about them. Most importantly, I hate being ignored when my boyfriend has the Playstation controller in his hand! I am seriously convinced that it’s some sort of top-secret CIA shit that blocks women’s voices.

Exhibit A:

The other night, our guest bathroom toilet completely started overflowing & flooding our house. Since I suck at emergency type situations, I start panicking instead of thinking to turn the water off..

Me: &@#%^WDJAHSFVJ@&@!!!! FLOODINGGGG!! HURRYYY!!!!

D: ..........click click click........

Me: HELLO?! OUR HOUSE IS FLOODING & I NEED HELP PLEASE!

D: ..............................

Me: IT’S FLOWING INTO THE BEDROOMS! RUNNING OUT OF TOWELS!

D: ......... BALLS. I have to bomb this airport first!

Don’t get me wrong, guys. I’ve really tried to tolerate video games. I’ve even purchased D a nice, QUIET, relaxing Tiger Woods golf game. (Let’s face it, the sounds of AK-47‘s and football whistles aren’t exactly soothing after a long work day.) I had high hopes of polo shirts, sunny days, and chirping birds. Instead, I hear, “AHHH MANNNNN! COME ON YOU PIECE OF SHITTTTT!!! GO IN THE HOLE!!!” and possibly a controller bouncing on the tiled floor. (Why didn’t it just break?! FML)

The inspiration of this blog post was derived after coming home to find D playing Call of Duty in full army fatigue with all of the blinds closed... For 4 hours.

Ladies- do you feel my pain? Gents- put.the.controller.down!

*note from Adam Photo Credit Here

From Stranger to special BFF in 48 hours: A True Twitter Tale [Guest Post from Kasey Crabtree]

Well, like everything, the guest post segments fumbled on Black Friday.  I finally got Kasey's blog post so Kasey is here to lead us off.  Her tale that is pretty remarkable considering how VAST our world is, but then again with advents in social media, our world has definitely gotten smaller.  

But first, here is a little background on our guest blogger. 

@KaseyCrabtree is a DJ with Classic Rock 98.5, WNCX in Cleveland, OH (WNCX.com) and can be heard Saturdays from 10am-2pm.  Watch for the launch of her website www.KaseyCrabtree.com within the next couple of months, and check back here for info on her own, yet-to-be-titled blog which will have its first official posting before her birthday on December 19^th.

-Adam

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From Stranger to special BFF in 48 hours: A True Twitter Tale

by: Kasey Crabtree

That is how I would describe my relationship with Adam (AKA Throwing Quarters).  So when he asked for guest bloggers to help cover his posts over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend, it seemed the logical thing to do; the next progression of our friendship. It is also an honor to have this, my first ever blogpost, featured in his blog. 

But in order to appreciate where Adam and I are today, we need to look back and review how we got here.  Ours is truly a happy story of the ‘social’ aspect of social media; of some of the best results one could hope for from this new era of communication.  The coolest part: versions of this story could be happening to people everyday, maybe even to you!

The Common Question (?)

“So how have things been?”  “What’s new?” “Whatcha been up to?”

“How ARE you?”

How many of us will be asked these ubiquitous questions over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend?  How many times will we answer with polite, generic responses: “Things are the same”, “nothing much”, “I’m good”. 

I was recently asked these very questions by a friend I hadn’t seen in a few months.  I looked at her and I wasn’t sure where to begin. Instead of giving her one of the usual scripted responses, I was honest with her, telling her how I had been let go from my ‘day job’ on 4/3/09 – and I that am still job hunting.

I saw her look of concern and sympathy, but before she could say anything, I told her it was all ok – even better than ok. Now she looked puzzled. 

I explained I felt like Dorothy when she opened the door from her black and white world to the new world of Oz in Technicolor, or, maybe more appropriately, like Neo, when he swallowed the red pill and wakes up in ‘the real world’ and begins to understand the true nature of The Matrix.

No, I wasn’t on drugs: rather, I had finally discovered the world of social media, and I couldn’t imagine how I had ever lived without it.  She looked skeptical and dismissive, possessing the same attitude I had toward social media only 6 months ago: Facebook and twitter are a playground for self-absorbed people with way too much time on their hands.

Extolling the virtues and conveniences of twitter (especially once I had been shown Tweetdeck) fell on deaf ears with her, and the glazed look in her eyes made me realize I was losing her.  I offered to give her an example of the power of twitterverse….  Here it goes….

The common (or not-so-common?) occurrence

My first day on twitter was Friday, 7/31/2009; just five short months ago. (I’m @KaseyCrabtree, BTW).  Two weeks later, Friday August 14, 2009, I experienced my first #FollowFriday using Tweetdeck.  It was so exciting - I felt like I had arrived! I think I had about 75-100 followers at that point and was excited to connect with new people. 

@TeamNEO (an organization that promotes business growth and development in NE Ohio) had several #FollowFriday suggestions, many were business, but there was one in the list that was just a name - @acgercak.  I clicked on it and stumbled across one of Adam’s great Throwing Quarters blog entries discussing an “off day” vs. a “day off”.  The quick read was entertaining, candid, witty and well written. I was intrigued.

I tweeted him back complimenting his writing, and so began a dialog between us.  Based on some of his writing, I wondered if he worked in retail? yes he did; I then shared how I had recently been let go from a high-end retail job myself.  As our short tweets continued back and forth, we both began to see a picture of each other and how many common interests we shared.  Moreover, he was working practically right across the street from my condo, AND we both regularly frequented the same Starbucks.  It was quite the series of coincidences!

I can’t remember the exact sequences of events as he discovered I work part time as a radio DJ (Adam also has some radio experience), and I then invited me to attend the taping of a ThrowingQuartrs podcast on Sunday Aug 16^th at The Barley House.  Sunday rolled around; I went to the show featuring singer/songwriter Adam Taylor (@AdamTaylorMusic) and then found myself sitting in on the recording of the podcast, interjecting questions.  It all seemed so effortless, so natural, so comfortable.  By the time the night had ended, many smiles had been exchanged and pictures taken.

Adam seemed like a friend I had know for years, yet 48 hours prior, neither one of us had known of the other’s existence (Adam may have heard me on the radio).  Now, I couldn’t imagine not having this kindred spirit in my life.  I told him he was like my new BFF GF, but he wasn’t a girl, nor was he gay!  However, I felt like I could talk with him about almost anything, and I have!

We are still good friends; I have come to know his wife Jenn, and I tease both of them about the fact that they may have named their new daughter Addison, but I already had a 3 yr old cat by the same name.  See??? Yet another coincidence. 

Now remember, this wonderful friendship is ALL a DIRECT RESULT of having connected on twitter.

So what did my friend think of this story? She was intrigued, but still concerned about my current status. I acknowledged that on paper, my situation might seem bleak:  I am divorced with no kids (I have 3 cats), I have been unemployed for over 6 months, plus I am deeply in debt and terribly behind on all my bills.

I smiled and looked her straight in the eyes.  All these facts are true; these are all hurdles for me to overcome.  However, I have more hope and a stronger positive feeling toward the future than I have had in over 10 years!  I feel that our society is on the cusp of a new dimension of communication, almost as significant as the invention of the printing press. 

Yet more importantly, I feel like I have finally found “my people”.  A community of caring, positive, foreword-thinking people who embrace change and the future, with excitement and awe.  I have happily stepped into the new world of Social Media, and with every bone in my body; I believe it represents my future. 

To paraphrase a line from a favorite book, please join me; please join US, as we ‘tweet the road of happy destiny’.  See you all in the twitterverse!