Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Wedding Blogs [Part 4 of 4]

Original Post: June 5, 2008
Original Place: MySpace.com/Amplifyd
Original Title: The Wedding Part 4(Honeymoon)
About: This was a series of blogs written to chronicle my wedding from my point of view.

I guess this is just a natural last blog in regards to my wedding.

The Honeymoon.

Here is a fact about Honeymoons and why they are called Honeymoons.



Back in the old days, the bride and groom would have to make some babies, so the father of the groom would provide all the mead he could drink for one month after the wedding and lock them up. Now in that time, the most common mead of the time was honey mead, and back then months were tracked in phases of the moon, and one month was called a moon. Thus the Honeymoon.-----Thanks Pat for that tidbit of useless knowledge.



So the day after the wedding. Like I said, Audrey woke me up, then a headache woke me up. After a while, Jenn and I decided to leave our room and go venture out into the world as a married couple. We went to breakfast, where Keith and Jim were at a table talking quietly about the exploits of the night before. Most of us were all at one table, most of us being, Mom, Reggie (The best DJ in the world), Chris, Shelly, and Patrick along with me, and then Jenn, Audrey, Char, and Jenn's parents were at the other table. We all recounted the various things we could remember from the night before as we ate, and then Mom and Reggie left for home. Keith, Pat, and Jim headed to the Slugger museum, and Chris and Shelly also had a long drive ahead of them. For the rest of us, we had things to do. Packing to be done. Houses to be cleaned.



Around 3pm, Pat dropped off Keith at the airport, and then dropped off Jim at his car so he could go home, and he came by Jenn's grandmother's house to grab Audrey so he could go too. Now Audrey was not very happy to leave me. She never is. I tried to get her through the house to hug everyone good bye quickly because I knew this wasn't going to be easy for either of us. I walked her out to the car, and she started to cry, and very hard. Sobbing is more like it. She didn't want to leave, she wanted to go to Florida with Jenn and me. Unfortunately, something called school got in the way of that. I gave her a big hug, and got her in the car, and at this point banshees are less noisy. Pat got in the car and left. The tears came down, on her face and my face. I have never left Audrey for more than a long weekend, now I was going to be gone for a week. It was hard to see her go. Jenn just hugged me in the street until I was good enough to walk back into the house. It was a while, but we eventually went back in.



With that out of the way, Jenn and I got to packing. We got the car loaded up, and around 5pm, we set off for Florida. We got as far as Tennessee when we decided to stop for the night, around 10:30 or so. The next day we had to get there.



Now, no one really ever hears me complain about VZ Navigator. Well this day, I got pissed. We were going along on the highway, when it tells us to get off and take GA-4 south. Cool, thinking it was just not the interstate but just a state route that was a 65 mph zone. Well it was, but it also was 45mph, 35 mph, small towns were 25mph. Great! Well it was really pretty as far as scenery goes, but at about mid Georgia, the GPS grid was gone. My VZ navigator went dark, and we were not lost, but just not sure where to go. I looked ahead at the navigator and it told us to continue on this road until we got to route 17 in Florida. Well it didn't tell us about the detours, or that GA-4 was also GA-1 and GA-28. Anyway, we didn't get too lost at all. We were just not sure how long it was going to take. It wasn't until Jenn knew where we were that the VZ Navigator came back on. I cursed under my breath.



My first impressions of this resort were amazing. My tummy was hurting, so as Jenn checked us in, I went to the bathroom to find, really nice fixtures, the smell of home, and quilted TP in the stalls. Very nice. I like.



So the room was amazing, 7th floor with an ocean view. Breathtaking. I have photos up.



Jenn and I wanted to take some photos. Oh yeah, our digital ate our memory card, and we were forced to buy a new one. Then the digital camera broke, so we had to buy a new one of those. Tuesday was fun. We got a golf cart for the week and started exploring. I thought this resort was a couple of hotels and some condos, but no, it's a hotel, restaurants, shops, spa, houses, and condos. Oh yeah, the resort is something like 3 miles by 5 miles. Pretty large. Wednesday was nice too. Massage day. I was completely uncomfortable and nervous because the ladies got a nice LONG robe to wear, and the guys, it went maybe a little past my knees. So you try and be a guy, naked, under a short robe, and try and hide the goods. Its nerve racking. Anyway, all that went away when we got into the massage room. All I got to say is, awesome!



Thursday, we went to St. Augustine. What a cool old town. Its something like the oldest town in America. There was an awesome lighthouse and old fort, also the A1A brewery had an excellent beer tour. It was lovely. Then we went back to the hotel.



Friday, the Segway day. Now if you haven't ever been on one of these things they are awesome. I want to buy one ASAP. They are so much fun. It was a nice nature cruise after a short orientation, and then we got to go down on the beach with them and play in the sand. It was fun to chase the sand pipers. They were awesome. We built a sand castle that day too, because we are just those people.



Saturday we played golf. What a nice course. $195 a round, per person. Yeah apparently the owner bought it for us because our account said friend or family member guest. They asked us who we knew, and we told them. Our round cost $50.00….. for both of us. Yeah I know. It was the best round of golf one could have asked for. We shot like hell, and didn't really have fun until the back 9. Later that night we ventured in to see a comedy show with Jenn's good friend Barb. We had dinner and had a great time drinking and laughing.



Sunday was a day of reflection. We cruised the resort, cruised the beach, cruised the bar, got a drink and started to cruise the resort again. It was a nice relaxing day. Monday. Time to go home. Never fun, but we were ready.



Now before I end this blog, I must mention the food we ate. We had fabulous meals every night we were there. We ate everything from steak, to Mahi Mahi, to scallops, to pizza, to Ahi Tuna, and we went to some really nice restaurants. I don't want to bore you, but all the weight that Jenn and I worked hard to lose, well, its back, for the time being.



Anyway, I hope you enjoyed our wedding as much as we did. If you were there, you know I left out a ton of stuff. If you were not there, its ok, this is just a broad strokes look at the wedding. I'm sure when we get together you will hear much more detail, as it will be talked about for the ages.



Keith said it best. "Another classic Gercak family wedding."

Wedding Blogs [Part 3 of 4]

Original Post: June 4, 2008
Original Place: MySpace.com/Amplifyd
Original Title: The Wedding Part 3(The Reception)
About: This was a series of blogs written to chronicle my wedding from my point of view.



I left you hanging after the last blog.

I did marry the woman of my dreams. I am the luckiest man in the World, with the exception of the guy that invented the plastic tips on shoe laces he's a pretty lucky guy too.

I will spare you the details of the time between the ceremony and the reception. Here is a brief synopsis. Jenn and I shook all the hands of the guests as they exited the church. More tears and hugs ensued. We then got into the rental car (Chrysler 300) and took it around the block with Keith at the helm. Family, plus wedding party, plus photographer, you connect the dots. Short drive. Wedding party, outside, wind, balloons, plus photographer. You get it.



So now we are pulling into the Marriott in Downtown Louisville. The valet saw me, and was like no big deal. He saw the Amanda (Jenn's sister) get out of the car, and I think he went, wow, she's in a nice dress, and 3 nano seconds later he saw Jenn in her dress and he RAN to get her door. They treated us like royalty as we entered the hotel. We were greeted by the wedding planner and they escorted us to a holding tank for the bridal party. I practiced dancing with my Mom in the reception hall before the guests got in there (they were outside the hall enjoying an open bar and awesome appietizers).



The Dance. There is nothing that can prepare you to do a choreographed dance for your wedding. 9 months of practice? No. A shot of bourbon? No. We ran through it once and I was like, I can't focus on this right now, I was too excited/aggravated because a person in our bridal party doesn't understand the concept of 2 lefts and a right hand turn into the hotel. Crazy I know, but I have to talk this person in. Anyway, I am walking off the dance floor when I say, "Damn I can use a drink".



"What are you drinking?" some super server ninja says right behind me.



3 seconds later, I had a stiff bourbon and water in my hand, and I was off to enjoy the night.

So meanwhile, in the holding tank, we are all just hanging enjoying the day. Jenn and I are doing the married people chant, "I love you" and "I love you too" *smooch*



The wedding planner gets us, and we are announced to the guests who are now in their seats. How awesome was this? All the people ahead of me were all announced and then we walked in. The reception room looked amazing. The crowd was clapping. Jenn and I felt like monkeys. Dance monkey Dance! I like attention, but not all of it 100% of the time. I like to stand out, then blend in, then stand out again, then blend in again. Nope not today. We were put up on a stage in front of everyone.



Dinner was served pretty soon after. As we sat down at the table, I saw a card. On it said, do not open until instructed by the best man. I noticed it was on all the tables. This made me nervous. What did my brother Keith have planned?



After dinner the DJ calls Keith up to the microphone and he whips out a sheet, which I presume is the speech he is about to give. The microphone is cordless so it gives Keith the stage to walk around like he is performing. He starts off with the hi, I'm Keith, I've known Adam for….



He then instructs the crowd to open the envelope, but not the head table. The crowd is reacting to the picture in the envelope. This is what they sound like.



"Awe," then "*snicker snicker*"



I wanted to know what it was. I wanted to tear into this envelope. Keith then tells us that we can open the envelope. I tear into it and it wasn't a picture that was unfamiliar to me. It was a photo of Jenn and me, in 1997, at her senior prom. Because I am unable to get a photo of it uploaded in time to post this blog, I will describe it. I am wearing a long tux coat (Black) and striped pants (black and white like chef's pants but nicer) and a white shirt with a grey paisley Ascot. Jenn is wearing a Blue dress with sparkly things all over it. Our hair is in the typical fashion for 1997. Bad. Well Jenn's looked good. I had so much product in mine it would have pasted a crash test put on by the NTSB.



Keith apparently got the reaction he was looking for out of Jenn and I, so he unveiled the picture he had covered on the easel on stage. I guess he wanted people to get a good look at it, because it was enlarged and framed. He then went on to tell people what I just told you, it was Jenn's senior prom in 1997, blah blah blah……



He went into a comedic diatribe about what were we thinking. Did we know today would be happening back then or were we worried about our chicken dinner at prom being cooked all the way through?



People laughed, then he went in for the pay off.



"Do you think they knew that they would be getting married 11 years later?"



Wait for it.



"Here is another fun fact about this photo."



Here it comes.



"This photo was taken 11 years ago……."



Here you go



"…..to the DAY!"



Silence………..



Tears rolled down Jenn's face, my face, and anyone who was there.



Keith continued. He quoted something about love from the dictionary. He then made a wise crack about its definition and that the Rhodes Scholars who wrote it were incredibly romantic as his comment dripped with sarcasm. He then re wrote the definition and I wish I could remember it.



Keith finished with a very great monologue. If there was a checklist. Adam and Jenn followed it. He named what would be on this checklist, motioned, and said check after each one. He said if you've ever wanted to see love, look at these two. Look at Jenn around Audrey. Look at Audrey around Jenn. Look at Adam within eyesight of Jenn. That's love and I wish them all the best.



That's when we wiped our tears, and drank to the toast.



The hug I gave Keith was unlike any hug I've given him. I never knew he thought the way he did about Jenn and me. Whether he actually meant what he said, he really played it off as heartfelt. Now I have no doubt he meant what he said, but I am humbled by his words. I don't like people to talk about me, and when they speak and its good things, I don't like to brag. However, Keith's speech was awesome. People are still talking about it. (There is a partial video of it; I will post it as soon as I get it)



So now with the mushy crap out of the way, let's eat cake and dance. Now Jenn and I didn't smoosh cake in each other's faces. We were good. Classy.



My Mom and I got out on the dance floor and I messed up our dance entirely. No one noticed but me. I still haven't watched the video of it. But people loved it! They clapped, Mom cried. All was well. Jenn and her Dad got out there and Jenn cried her way through 'Butterfly Kisses". Then she and I got out there and tore it up to "Take my breath away" There is a joke that is too long for this long blog.



So time to mingle. Many people wanted to know. Did I get wasted at my wedding? Yes. Were there a lot of people at your wedding? Enough to party is my answer. Now I am not sure if anyone noticed, but I would only speak to any one person for one drink. The drink was bourbon and water. If you wanted to do a shot with me, then I would do a shot of bourbon with you and then walk away and get another drink and talk to someone else until that glass was empty. It was a good system. I got to have a drink with everyone, and there were about 75 people at the wedding. So needless to say I got drunk. Now about 9:30pm Keith, Steve, Pat, and I went out to the patio of the hotel to smoke the cigars I got us and have a drink. Well half a cigar later I was empty, so I made the mistake of sending Pat's brother in law, Chris, in to refill me. Bourbon and water. Tell the bartender it's for the groom, he knows how I like them. Well he comes back with bourbon and water and a shot, which I was lead to believe would be bourbon. Now I can drink bourbon and not get totally and unequivocally wasted. I was drunk, but not as sloppy as I could have been. I would call it comfortably numb. So Chris tells me I am doing a shot. So are the other people on the patio, which were a few wedding guests and two very drunk and very cool Australian blokes in town for the NRA convention in the same hotel as my wedding.



Bottoms up. I pound this shot down. I swallow. I taste. I am handed a bourbon and water. I hand back the shot glass. I say… "That's tequila."



"No, its 1800 gold tequila." I was told by Chris.



I was happy and furious all at the same time. Not only did he break my bourbon only rule, he is now going to break the one drink per conversation rule. I tell anyone within ear shot that this bourbon and water is going to be my last drink of the night. Chris may have single handedly ruined my wedding night for Jenn. May have. Keep going.



The tequila hit my veins. I felt it pour through my body like battery acid. I went from being drunk, to couldn't talk with out trying really hard NOT to slur my words, and it just got worse. No more alcohol, just water. The bar tenders knew it. No more bourbon and waters for Adam. Just water, and lots of it. I ate some peanuts from the bar, and water. For the record I drank twice as much water as bourbon that night. I was sober enough to walk in a straight line and carry Jenn into the hotel room.



So the reception is over. Jenn and I are brought to the hotel. Like I said I carried her over the threshold like a good groom should, and into the honeymoon suite. In the living room of the suite was food from our reception in case we were hungry, a bottle of champagne on ice, our gifts, our cards, and the top of our gorgeous cake with a note saying "congrats on your wedding, love, the Marriott staff" How lovely.



The bedroom had the tops of roses in the shape of a heart on the bed, with a plate of chocolate covered strawberry's in the center of it, and our towels, folded into a heart on the bed. Awesome right? I know. What happens after this point you don't get a blog on.



All you need to know is, I woke up the next morning to a ringing phone, and it was Audrey asking me if I was awake yet. I said no, and went back to sleep to wake up 5 minutes later with a pounding headache. Thanks Chris, you asshole, for giving me tequila. Cock. But I love you anyway.


Wedding Blogs [Part 2 of 4]

Original Post: May 21, 2008
Original Place: MySpace.com/Amplifyd
Original Title: The Wedding Part 2(Ceremony)
About: This was a series of blogs written to chronicle my wedding from my point of view.


So, there are people out there who want to know what a hanky bonnet is. What a hanky bonnet is; it is just a hanky, like the lace kind women carry, folded up to create a bonnet. In my family, it is tradition for all babies to wear it home from the hospital. After the baby wears home, it is taken off and placed somewhere safe, and if that baby was a boy, the hanky is unfolded and ironed, and given to his bride to carry down the isle as the 'something old'. It is a symbolic gesture of a man's mother giving her son away, because let's face it, its all about the daughter as far as weddings go.

That's what a hanky bonnet is, and I hope you can see why Jenn was so upset when she didn't have it with her.



Anyway, let us get into the wedding day.



Keith's friend Jim drove in the day before, after thinking he couldn't get here. He got there and he was able to spend the last night of bachelorhood in bed with me. He likes to cuddle, but after some pushing, he stopped spooning me.



The morning of May 17th was just like any other day, except that I was about to get married, and that I had not really slept a whole lot. I wasn't nervous, just excited to get it over. I had a lot of anxiety over how the day was going to go. I didn't want to be late; I didn't want to be so early that I was pacing just to pass the time. I had a few things to do and I wanted them to be done so I could get going.



So I got out the door to run errands about 10:30am, after forcing myself to eat an apple for breakfast. For the past month, I haven't been hungry for breakfast, and those who know me know that I am a freak for breakfast. So I went out on a search for a golf glove for Jenn. About a month ago, Jenn and I agreed that we would not get each other wedding gifts because we spent so much on everything else. Now when I got to Kentucky, I hadn't seen Jenn in a week. Within hours of me waking up when I got there, I was already at the florist to send her one rose. What I wrote on the card to my bride was special to me, and I hope she loved it. (My mom told me, that she cried when she read it.)



My search for a golf glove ended at Golf headquarters. They had the specific type of golf glove I was looking for. A golf glove was meant for a manicure and jewelry. I found one, quickly purchased it, ran over to Wal-Mart got a gift bag and tissue paper, then went back to the hotel and wrote out a card, put it in the bag with tissue paper, and got a shower and started to get ready.



It took me a whole 25 minutes to get ready. I forced myself to slow down. Keith and I left and took the rental car to be washed. I picked it up that morning, and it was dirty. They washed it, but they had one of those crappy machines do it. Keith and I took it where they wash it, then had dry it to get all the crap off it.



So once I was at the church, things really started to speed up. The photographer took us to get some pictures done. You have seen some of them on my page already. Wait until you see the rest. Our photographer was amazing! Once the photos were taken, the guys and me went up to the church and hung out. I drank a ton of water and talked with Jim, Chris, and Josh while I waited. Keith, Steve, and Patrick left to take the ring bearers to the ladies, and then to light candles and usher in our guests. It was just Jim, Chris, and myself alone. Eventually it was just Jim up there with me. It was just awesome. I am still glad he was eventually able to make it down for the wedding.



I was standing behind a door that went right into the sanctuary, when all the guys got back. I walked in to see Jenn's mom crying, my mom sitting and being my mom, and a few other people in the front few rows. If you were back further than row three, I could not see you. I stood there and watched the bridesmaids come down the isle. They all looked genuinely excited to be there. I've been to some weddings when the bridesmaids look like they have a gun to their head to smile as they walk down the isle, but Char, Shelly, and Amanda looked great. My niece and nephew walked down the isle and made it to their spots, and then I see Audrey start to come down. She looks so beautiful. She looked so excited. She walked to the end of the isle and then gave me a kiss. As I type this, I get a tear in my eye.



I try to regain composure, and then Keith and Steve take the runner down the isle. At this point, Jenn is standing off to the side so I can't see her, but I do see her Dad. Keith and Steve look off towards her, and Steve said something to her and told Keith not to walk on the runner, it is only for Jenn. They take their positions again, and then the music starts. Everyone stands up, I look down the isle and here is the most spectacular bride I have ever seen. The tears didn't let me enjoy the view, it turned into a soggy mess, but once I got them out of my eyes, it was fantastic. I went down and met her and her Dad gave me her hand, and then once it was just Jenn on my arm, all the noise, all the music, and the guests just went away. It was just Jenn and me, holding hands.



The ceremony went on, and then it was time for our vows. I told my self to hold it together, and for the most part, I did, but I was a bit teary eyed. Once the vows were over, all the stress, all the anxiety of timetables, all the worry went away.



I was married to the women of my dreams. If only everyone could be as lucky as I am.

Wedding Blogs [Part 1 of 4]

Original Post: May 20, 2008
Original Place: MySpace.com/Amplifyd
Original Title: The Wedding Part 1(The Day Before)
About: This was a series of blogs written to chronicle my wedding from my point of view.




Well, its has been done. I am now married. I can't tell you how happy I am.



The day was perfect, but our wedding day actually started the night before, at Jenn's Grandparents house. My mom catered and hosted the rehearsal dinner, and we had it at Jenn's Grandparents house. My mom made everything from the food to the centerpieces.



The centerpieces. I wish I had a picture as I write this, but unfortunately I could not get one, but they were hilarious. It was a pot of grass with plastic forks stuck in the grass. There is a very funny story surrounding this as well, not just something my crazy mother came up with.



The Plastic Forks Story: Back in 1997 Jenn and I dated. I took Jenn to her Senior prom. After Jenn graduated I broke up with Jenn because she was leaving for college. She got really mad and went to the store with her friends and bought about 500 plastic forks and stuck them in my lawn. My mom woke up and saw them and got mad, but then started to laugh when she saw me out in the yard picking up plastic forks. How ridiculous it must have looked. My mom, being the frugal individual she was, decided to keep every single one. She washed them, and from then on, they were used at family barbeques. Well some years past and Jenn and I got back together, Jenn was at her first family function, and she was eating with a plastic fork. My mom went up to her and asked her if the fork looked familiar? She said no. My mom said, it should, you put it in my front yard.

So the night wore on, and things started to calm down so we decided to give out presents to the bridal party. After all the gifts were given my mom asked about a special heirloom in my family to Jenn. I have never seen the color drain from her face faster. She and I forgot to get my hanky bonnet. It is not her fault. There was a lot to remember. My mom was not mad, but I was determined to get it to her in less than 12 hours. The bridesmaids were willing to drive up, get it, and drive back, but because of the hour, they would have been back almost 1 hour after their hair was to be done.



I jumped into action. One of my motivations was to make Jenn happy. If she didn't have this with her, she would feel she let someone down, and I refused to let that happen. So I picked up my phone and called everyone I trusted back home. Elaine Chapman and her husband, and Jesse Bacon, who was about to get on the road in a few hours to come to my wedding. Elaine was nice enough to go to my Aunt's house and grab my house keys and retrieve this object. Jesse was even better, and he went and got this object from Elaine and drove it down. The plan worked great.



Before I go on. This story seems like a footnote in my whole wedding, but this single event of kindness on Elaine and David and Jesse still brings tears to my eyes. I will confess I did cry on the phone with Elaine. It wasn't that I was mad or sad, but I was so humbled that I had friends that would do this for me. Thank you so much, and you single-handedly made Our wedding day so special!

Monday, September 29, 2008

May 3, 2006 [Reliving A Day from hell]

This is a blog I wrote on May4, 2006. This blog is a reliving of a very very eventful day. I was in between jobs, and had nothing better to do than write that day. It seemed like a very common day.


I wake up.

Nothing special about today other than the fact that I wake up next to Jenn. That always puts a smile on my face. I do the normal morning routine, bathroom, couch, pull out Jenns laptop, start pecking at the keys, hoping that this computer will have found me that job I have been looking for. I wish my life was a Sims game. Sit at the computer, pick a job, go to that job, make money.

For about an hour I sit, reading e-mails, blogs, nothing. Jenn is awake now, showering, getting clean, something I haven't done in a while. I should do that today before my interview. I make the mental note and go back to the computer.

Jenn is ready for school. She looks nice today. She doesn't ever think so, but she does. She kisses me and leaves. I am talking to someone on AOL IM but I cannot remember now. I look at the digital clock on the computer.

12:20pm.

I should go and get ready for this interview. I gather my things, and head to the car. I drive. The gas needle is getting low. I make a stop at the bank. I take out what ever cash I have left in it and head home.

I arrive to a quiet house. Nothing different about this day other than the fact I cannot find my cat.

Whopper has been sick for some time, and I am looking for him hoping he did not succumb to his illness and die in a corner of my house somewhere.

I find him, curled up under my daughters bed. He is weak. He is skinny. His face is more swollen than normal. I call the vet. Whopper has forced me to do what I have been dreading for months. His time has come. The woman at the clinic was very nice. She said come in at 2:20pm. It is nearly 1:00pm at this point.

I call the woman I was having the meeting with at 1:00pm. Tell her something came up. We will have to reschedule our interview. She agreed.

What do I do for an hour?

I go outside with a book from the library. A Million Little Pieces by James Frey. I have wanted to read this book, but did not want to buy it, or be caught buying it. I hate Oprah.

I sit on my fold out OSU chair and enjoy the warm weather. I need a shower, but if Whopper smells like piss, then I will just to make him feel better.

1:05pm.

The sound of police sirens pierces the afternoon. I look up from my book to see a police car screaming down Nicholson Ave by my house.

That is something you do not see everyday.

1:08pm.

Another police car, and another, and another.

Curious. Another car, this time an unmarked.

1:20pm.

Another police car is screaming somewhere. Odd. My curiosity takes over. I gather Whopper. He could use a drive. This may be his last.

He is tucked away in his car cage. Safe. Curled up in his towel he had been sleeping on for months. Meowing in pain from the abscessed tooth. He is weak.

I turn out of my driveway and head to Nicholson Ave. I wait, I turn left towards Clifton. I look in my mirrors and I see another car, Ford Crown Victoria, Blue, Blacked out grill. I do not hear the sirens until he passes me.

The police car turns left onto Clifton, I hurry up and follow.

The police car is screaming down the middle of Clifton. Looking to avoid other cars at intersections he slows down. Enough for me to keep eyes on.

Red light. Damn.

I sit for what seems like an eternity.

Green.

I hurry off the limit line and continue in the direction of the police car. No luck. He lost me.

I pass an elementary school. I see police lights in the distance. Quarter mile, maybe. My pace quickens and I have arrived. I see an estimated 10 police cars, mostly marked Lakewood Departments, but also Rocky River, North Olmsted an numerous unmarked.

As I pass the congregation of cars, I notice they are blocking off an entire street. What street? Damn, passed before I could look. I turn down the next street. Webb. As I look down the side streets going back toward the block street, I realize what street it is. Granger. Chip. Fuck.

I pull down a side street after crossing railroad tracks. I call Mary Anne. No answer on her cell phone. Shit.

I call Chip. The result is the same.

I ask some neighbors on the street what is going on. They were clueless. They did not even realize the Army of police officers that has invaded their quiet neighborhood. I turn onto Granger near Detroit rd and try to look down. I cannot see passed the semi-truck blocking the street and numerous police cars. This is serious.

I turn left onto Detroit and head down the next street on the left. Bonnie view. I head back to Clifton to get a good recon post.

How I wish I was a police officer today. I would know what is going on. I would not need to worry if I knew what was going on.

Whopper meows. I comfort him. I turn left onto Clifton. More police cars. Hostage negotiators. This is serious. I turned back onto Webb. My phone rings. Mary Anne.

I ask if she knows where her boyfriend is. She has no idea.

I turn onto Norton.

I ask what house is his. She tells me. At the end of Norton, white and blue house. She cannot remember the address. I tell her what is going on. She worries. We hang up and I talk to a guy in a parked car. Curious, like me. We talk.

He said he heard gunshots. Curious. He says two shots. I say, cool, I am calling my friends at the news desk of WTAM. I park, I call. As I am on the phone, two more shots. I look toward Granger where a black suburban is blocking the intersection. A cop dove behind his suburban. He brandishes his gun. Fires twice.

Silence.

My phone rings. Mary Anne again.

She has Chip on her other phone talking to us both.

Another shot.

The police sirens break the afternoon breeze. A patrol car stops blocking off the street. A police officer gets out or the car. He brandishes a shot gun.

I hang up the phone and walk to the black civic who's passenger I was talking to. Tell him that it could be my buddy's house, but that it is not my buddy. I tell him I am getting the hell out of here.

He concurs.

The patrol car is moved enough for us to get out.

1:50pm.

Shit, I have to get Whopper to the vet. One more time around the area to see if there is anything new. Did one of those bullets find its target? Is there a job opening on the Police force? I will look tomorrow.

As I head south to Detroit another car pulls up. The police officer is wearing a uniform, but you can tell this is not his shift. Blue shirt, blue pants, white sneakers. He walks to the back of his patrol car with a partner. They pull out what looks to be high powered weapons.

I drive.

Slow, but I drive.

I take it all in.

The precision of the quarantine zone. The camaraderie of the officers. All from different cities, all there to do one job. Protect the public at all costs. With their lives, with their training.

I turn again onto Bonnie view.

More Police cars, more guns, more people gathering to watch.

Police in backyards. Waiting.

I turn left onto Clifton and I look more. More cars.

S.W.A.T. team.

Fire trucks. Police cars. Ambulances. All on site and ready for action. Lights. No Sirens.

I call Char.

I turn right onto Webb this time.

The news crews are there.

Did Char know where her Dad was? Is was possible he was at the scene. She didn't know. She sounded disappointed she was missing it. Wonder if her Dad could help me with a job? It will have to wait. I had to go.

2:17pm.

Shit. Vet.

I drive to the vet.

2:22om.

Im late. Fuck it. I saw something completely cool. Police in action. Guns.

2:25pm.

I sit Whopper on the table and retrieve him from his cage.

He is weighed.

Seven pounds. He has lost two in a couple of weeks.

He was not eating.

The nurse left. Left Whopper and I. He looks at me. His eye is no longer swollen. Is neck is huge now. He meows. I kiss his head.

He is scared.

He scratches at his neck.

His neck pops open.

What it was I do not know. It did not have a stench. I was milky white. His face was not swollen. He looks relieved.

The doctor comes in.

I ask her what that was. She traced it to a wound on his neck that Whopper has self inflicted.

His skin is so weak he tore it scratching.

Tears well up in my eyes.

I hold them back.

Not in front of Whopper. He needs someone who is not freaking out.

The doctor examines his mouth. All his teeth are still there.

She looks harder.

He bites her. He is not going without a fight.

She asks questions. Trying to soften the blow. I want to help him. There is only one way.

It was his time. She leaves and comes back. She tells me what she is going to do. One shot of anesthesia. He overdoses. He goes to sleep.

Do I want to be here for him.

No.

Yes.

I stay.

So I want his remains.

Yes.

I also want some of his hair, a paw print. For Audrey. She is loosing her first pet.

I sign paperwork. I will get Whopper back in a week. $160.00. I do not have it. I can pay later when I pick him up. I hopefully have it then.

I hold whopper. He looks at me. Meows. Purrs. Cuddles. I kiss him one last time. I tell him he will be better in a minute. He will have all the Kitten Caboodle he wants soon.

The doctor returns.

Two nurses.

A needle.

I whopper lays still on the table. They look for a vein in his leg.

They are small. So is the needle. One nurse looks for his pulse in his neck. She cannot find it. The doctor hears a faint heartbeat. Whopper is dying on his own terms.

The doctor helps him. Whopper purrs.

The needle goes in. Whopper purrs. Whoppers salvation is pushed into him. Whopper purrs. Whopper purrs. Silence.

No heartbeat.

Whopper is in a better place now. I cry. I kiss him. I cry. I kiss him some more. His eyes are glazed. Open.

I kiss him.

The doctors and nurses try to comfort me.

They are crying too.

They see this all the time.

They cry too.

I pick him up one more time. I kiss his head. I lay him on HIS blanket. I cry. I tell him I loved him.

I miss him.

The nurse returns.

I ask for the paw print.

They go one better. They print out a card with a poem. What it is I cannot bear to read it. They write his name. Whopper Gercak. 5/3/2006. They shave his paw to get to his pads for the print. They moisturize it.

Whopper signs his name for one last time.

They shave some hair and put it in a baggy. This is for Audrey. This was her cat.

I cry more.

I give the nurse permission to take Whopper. She takes him.

I walk out. Alone. With an empty cage. I stop in the parking lot. I sob. I lost my friend. My cuddle buddy on cold sleepless nights.

I compose my self.

I call Jenn.

She knows something is wrong.

She knows.

I go to Jenns house.

I take the trek up her stairs slowly. Looking at the envelope with Whoppers card to Audrey.

I do not look up.

I trek.

I look up. Jenn is at the top of the stairs.

I she hugs me. Oh how I wanted that.

I cry.

She cries harder.

I give her the card.

She hugs me more.

I cry.

She cries harder.

I sit on the couch. I try to talk. I am quiet.

She opens the card. She see the paw print. She cries.

She goes and turns off her lunch. Wants to know if I am hungry. Yes. I lie and say no.

I tell her about the police on Granger. She asks about Chip.

He is fine.

Pat comes out from his room. He is happy today. He asks if I have heard good news. No. I hand him the card.

He is curious.

He sees the Animal Hospitals return address .

He gets up. Does not open the card. He hugs me. I need it. I break down again. Pat is not a cat guy. He liked Whopper.

Jenn gets ready for work after her lunch. She leaves for work. I leave to get Audrey.

The empty cat cage is in the front seat of the car.

I pause.

The radio crackles to life. WTAM has a news bulletin. The gun man on Granger is dead. That is the price you pay for shooting at a police officer.

I pick up Audrey without incident. She gets into the car. She sees the cage. Excited that Whopper was picking her up she is jovial. I tell her the cage is empty. She asks where he is. I close the door. I get in the other door. I tell her.

Confused.

I give her the card. Tears roll down her cheeks. It was the first time she cried out of emotion, not pain, or because I yelled at her. She understood.

We drive home in silence.

She says she wants to eat tacos. To taco bell we go. She deserves them. First staples, now Whopper. Poor girl.

We pick up dinner.

We drive past the crime scene. All the cars are gone except for the crime scene investigators. I call Chip.

Is he home?

No.

Waiting for the police to call him.

Is it safe to go home?

No.

He recounts what happened from his perspective. Police call. Ask questions. He answers. Lets them know he owns guns. Didn't think the kid knew about them, but just in case. He had a .38 caliber hand gun, two clips full of ammo. Hollow points. He had a .40 caliber shot gun. Enough ammo to start a war he says. The police appreciate his candor. He has nothing to hide. Just wants them to know if he broke into the house, there is potential danger.

We hang up.

I pull into the driveway.

Audrey is asleep. Emotionally drained.

We get into the house. We eat. I look around. My house is trashed. I half did the dishes last week. More still to be done. Garbage on the floor. Old cups. Newspaper. Toys. A mess. I am not in the mood to clean today.

Audrey and I go for a walk. Short walk. To the lake.

8:00pm.

Bedtime.

I watch a movie and read more in A Million Little Pieces. The house is quiet. No Whopper on my lap. No police sirens. Quiet. Just a breeze. It is quiet.

10:36pm.

Phone rings. I do not recognize the number. I started to do the dishes hoping I can clean up a bit. I answer. It was Robert at Jenn's work. He is taking her to Lakewood Hospitals ER. He thought I should know.

Thank you.

I am Jenn's only family here. I have to go.

I call Keith. He is on his way.

I clean up some of the garbage. Clean off the couch. Keith will be sleeping there I am sure.

Robert calls again.

I am on the porch pacing.

He said she started crying, shaking, her hands went numb.

I think. Panic Attack.

She did not want him to call me. I have a daughter. I need to worry about her she says. Bullshit. I am going.

Keith arrives.

I leave.

I arrive at the hospital. I see Robert. No Jenn. We sit. Watch the Cavs win in overtime. Wondering where the fuck Jenn went. We ask.

She was in an ice box of a waiting room behind the triage doors. We come in. She had been crying. Ashamed she was there. She always does that. She doesn't need to. Robert and she talk for a minute. Robert goes home. He has done enough. I was there. Hopefully I was not the reason she was there.

I think I was.

My job prospects are few at this point. On the outside looking in it may look as though I am not trying. Mooching off my friends. I hate that feeling. I try in vein to keep up appearances.

1:30am.

I haven't showered. I stink. I am ashamed.

We are moved to a real room in the ER. Colder still. Jenn is shivering.

Doctors come in. Check her out.

A nurse comes in. Needles. I have seen enough of them. I try and keep the mood light. Jenn is trembling. She hates needles. They poke her. She winces and recoils. The nurse hit a moving target. The cleanest IV I have ever seen. Jenn is in pain.

Note to self. Encourage an epidural during child birth for her.

EKG. Blood work. Funny nurses. Adavant. Jenn is calm now. Heart rate down to normal. She is feeling the sedative kick in. She flips the TV. I do the games in the newspaper.

I am bored.

What a fucked up day.

2:45am.

Discharged. UTI and a panic attack. Excuse to stay off work for two days. Jenn cries. She cannot afford it she says. I tell her it is an excuse, they aren't calling your employer and telling them not to let you work. If you feel up to it, go.

I know I am the reason for this. My lack of financial stability, my cat. It is my fault. I feel bad.

I drive Jenn home. I would rather she come to my house, but my bed is soaked.

Whopper had not gotten up for three days in my bed. He pissed the whole thing. Sheets, comforter, and bed, all wet, being cleaned. Liberating Whoppers stench.

I will miss it.

Jenn is dizzy from her meds. I help her in the house. She stumbles up the stairs. I feel responsible. I want to help. Nothing I can do but catch her if she falls. She walks into her room, dresses for bed, gets into bed. I kiss her. Tell her I love her. Tell her goodnight and I would see her in the morning. Keith needed to get home.

She cries. I kiss her. I turn out her light.

She cries herself to sleep. She has no idea why this happened. She knows, but will not share it. Trying to spare my feelings I am sure. I drive home.

Keith wakes up. Asks if she is ok. I say she is home asleep.

Keith leaves.

I sit on the couch.

Pry my book open and try to read. I cannot keep concentration.

3:15am.

I turn on a movie.

I lay down on the couch.

A quiet house.

No cat to keep me company.

Jenn cries herself to sleep across town.

I cry myself to sleep in my messy, empty, quiet house.

How am I going to fix this?

The first of many.

Good day to you.

This my first blog on blogger, which will end up being the first of many more.

Do I think I am a good writer. Maybe. I don't think I am the best, and I am always working to make myself better. My first couple of posts will be highlights from blogs I have posted before on another blog space. Enjoy.