Showing posts with label baby birthing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby birthing. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Don't Tell Horror Stories [Guest Post from Mrs. Throwing Quarters]

After months and month and months of asking begging my wife to write a blog, she finally did.  This is our funny story of having a baby, but from my wife's point of view.  She was the one doing all the work, I was the one who was blogging the whole time, and tweeting, and doing nothing but encouraging her to push harder.


Welcome the wifey officially to the blog.  She has also gotten on the Twitter bandwagon and you can follow her here.  


Today is my first day off, whew, what a long weekend.
-Adam
**********************************************************************************

I found out I was pregnant on New Years Eve last year.

With in a week of finding out I was pregnant people started telling me how horrible their labor was, or stories of their horrible pregnancy.  Let me tell you this is a sure fire way to scare a newly pregnant woman, especially if this is their first pregnancy.  My niece turned two last april and I remember my sister's pregnancy well.  She was put on bed rest at six months because she went into preterm labor.  We were all so worried for her and the baby.  Then last year at this time she lost a baby, it was heartbreaking.  All this was already in my mind when the doctor confirmed that I was pregnant, could any of her problems be hereditary? Would I have these problems?  Was there anything I could do to help make sure I didn't have these problems?

My sister is younger than I am, she's healthy and active, not that I'm too old or unhealthy but I'm not as active as she is, would I be more at risk?  All these thoughts flooded my brain and made me worry more than enough before I started hearing other peoples "traumatic" stories.

Some of these women told me things that made me wonder why they had had more than one child, especially at the same hospital!  My mother treated me to a pedicure when I was about 6 months along, noticeably pregnant but not huge.  The lady doing my pedicure asked me if this was my first and then proceeded to tell me that with her first (of three) children the doctor sowed a towel inside of her while stitching her up after delivery, causing an infection and lots of pain.  She had a horror story for all three of her children and one from her sister, the towel one was the one that stuck with me the most.

My husband (you all know him if you're reading this blog :) likes documentaries and had gotten one from Netflix about childbirth.  Now I am a strange kind of person.  I wanted to know just enough to understand what was happening to my body and to the baby but not so much that I sit around and worry about what is going to happen to my body and the baby.  I wanted to know just enough to ease some of the unknown fears but not enough to sit around and stress myself out about what is to come. 

I loved that my doctor seemed to understand that and respected my wishes.  This also means that I was not one of the women who rents videos about childbirth or visits birthing centers, it's wonderful if that is what you want, I just know that I didn't want that and I was ok with that. 

I had my plan, an epidural early and strong!  The women that want natural childbirth are awesome and strong if that is what they want but I think it varies for every woman and basically no matter how you chose to approach it the fact that you are bringing another life into this world is an awesome thing.  Any choice a woman makes is the right one for her, and the only women that I can't stand are the ones that think any medication for any woman is the wrong choice.  If you don't want them then more power to you but if you do then that is just fine!  I can't imagine why any one wouldn't want the aid of meds but that's just me.

Well anyway, this documentary my husband had was made by Ricki Lake during her second pregnancy.  She had not felt like she was a real part of her first child's birth (bur really how could you not be right?) because she had been medicated.  So she followed three separate women during their delivery, one of them being herself.  The whole point of the film, in my opinion, was to try and scare women into having natural childbirth, but for me it only solidified my choice to be medicated!  The film talked about all these strange ways they used to deliver babies, and all the "possible" side effects of the medications they give us now.  There were all these doctors from other countries talking about what wimps Americans are for using medications for easing labor.  Then we actually watched these women have their children.

WOW!!!  Everyone of theses women screamed in agony,  begged for it to stop, or cried and cussed.  Now really can you tell me how that is "enjoying the process of birth"?  I looked at Adam and told him if he didn't turn the movie off I wasn't having this baby (now mind you I was probably about seven months along at this point :)

With all these stories floating in my mind along with the normal first time pregnant jitters I was beginning to really freak myself out.  As I was leaving work one of my last nights one of the girls asked how I was holding up.  I admitted to being scared and worried that I wouldn't be able to do it.  She looked me straight in the eyes and said "Is it comfortable? no. Is it fun? no.  But is it worth it? yes! absolutely! if it weren't no one would ever have more than one."

I held on to that thought all the way through till they took me into the delivery room.  I will not be a woman who tells horror stories.  Why? Because I don't have any!!  The worst part of the whole thing for me was the nerves going into it.  In fact I have a funny story to tell.

I was induced, being nine days late, so there was no natural progression of contractions, no natural water breaking, it was all done at the hospital, which I definitely didn't mind.  While waiting for the epidural they gave me another drug that didn't work as well and I don't remember, but Adam says I stated that "man, this shit hurts!"  :)

Shortly after that I was given the wonderful epidural.   After that I felt nothing but a touch of pressure when I had  contractions, it was wonderful!  I was able to talk to my husband and the nurses and my doctor with a clear head.  I knew what I was thinking and wasn't out of my mind in pain.  I remember the process of pushing and was able to hear and understand my doctor, and was completely clear headed when they handed me my baby.  Even the process of getting the epidural wasn't as bad as I was afraid of.  Now here is the funny story that you may pass on to any pregnant woman that you may know.

They had given me a very large cup of water (which I didn't expect) to help keep my hydrated.  I was still very nervous about what was yet to come, and I'll admit I was worried about not being able to control having to pee with the effects of the epidural and not feeling much.  Well the nurse did one of those questions that wasn't really a question more like an order.  "Would you like a popsicle?" which translated into "You will now be eating a popsicle, what color would you like?"  we even joked a little when she left the room to go get it.

She brought my the popsicle and opened it up, giving me no choice but to eat it.  Well (here is the funny part)  one of the other nurses came in and decided they needed to catheterize me and empty my bladder.  Now if anyone has had a catheter before you know they are not really very fun, I remember my sister had to be catheterized after she had her baby because she wasn't moving any urine and I remember her being in tears about it.  I was a little nervous but then realized that I had an open popsicle in my hands.  It's a popsicle, what do you do with an open popsicle?  Nothing, you just keep eating it.  They laid the bed down and did their thing and I laid in that bed staring at the ceiling and eating my grape popsicle.  It was hilarious!    

When the nurses left the room for a minute we laughed about how silly that was, and even kind of gross in a way.  After everything was all over I was amazed.  I was exhausted and it hadn't been fun or comfortable but damn it sure had been worth it!  As soon as they handed me my beautiful baby I was ready to do the whole thing over again!  A few months of uncomfortable and a few hours of really uncomfortable and they hand you a beautiful baby!!  Afterwards when Adam asked me if I'd do it again I said absolutely but I didn't have any horror stories to pass on to any other new moms.  He laughed and said "Tell them about you're popsicle" so I have told the several of my married friends that are talking about having babies, but are nervous, "Is it comfortable? no.  Is it fun? no.  But is it worth it? Oh yes!! and then I tell them to have a popsicle!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Oh yeah, I blogged it.

9-9-09. Words cannot describe this date. It's the ultimate accessory. Everyone can say that they have a cool birthday, but now I have a trump card.

I know there have been many babies born on their father's birthday, but how many have a birthday of 9-9? Let alone in the year 2009?

How many can say their child was born 9-9-09 when it was 9 days late?
How many can say their child was born on 9-9-09 after being 9 days late and weighed 9 pounds?
How many can say their child was born on 9-9-09 after being 9 days late and weighing 9 pounds and being 19 inches long?
How many can say their child was born on 9-9-09 after being 9 days late and weighing 9 pounds 19 inches long and it still be their 29th birthday?

Not many.

I am one of those few. Many call it destiny, fate, or maybe God's will. I call it the natural order of things.

Last night I got to hold my new daughter for the first time. I can't even begin to describe the feeling. I posted about how I felt anxiety over loving two children. You were right. It just grows. I had no idea.

Yesterday I got to watch my wife fight through pain I can't even fathom, to give life to a child she has only known by her kicks, pokes, and jabs for the last 9 months. I am in awe. I watched her turn into a mother right before my eyes, and I don't think I blinked. My wife is my hero. What an amazing thing to experience. It is what I think watching the Cleveland Browns win the Super Bowl would feel like.

Last evening I sat on the couch, while mom and baby slept, with Audrey's head in my lap while she slept, crying like a little school girl. All the emotions caught up with me. Finally. Babies don't sleep as well as I did last night.

This morning I woke up at 5am, wide awake for no apparent reason. Sleep is a precious commodity these days and here I am wasting it on posting a new blog before I start my day.

The words escape me this morning. I have written and written this post over and over. I have over 17 pages in my moleskine with my emotions, thoughts, views, and observations throughout my day yesterday. All I can muster are these few words.

I logged into Facebook yesterday. For those following my updates there, I am sorry. Facebook and Twitter were not friends. Everything came in out of order, or very very late. My phone hasn't seen as much action as it did yesterday. I had distribution lists set up. With every update it instantly went out to about 30 friends and family, including some very very anxious grandparents in the waiting room. Not long after they got the message, twitter got the message, but Facebook was apparently jerking off in the bathroom most of the day.

When I logged into Facebook I was met with hundreds upon hundreds of status updates, wall posts, and messages my phone had not gotten yet. I stayed up pretty late reading every one of them. Thank you so much. You have made my 29th birthday even more special.

Yesterday morning my wife gave me Cleveland Browns PJ pants, because everyone needs something to open on their birthday.

Yesterday, at 6:33pm, the ultimate birthday gift arrived. As my brother Keith said last night, she came just in time for cake and ice cream.

Before I go any further I must announce the winner of the Baby Pool and Side Bet.
[The official scorecard for the Baby Pool and Side Bet]

Kasey Crabtree. A friend. Someone I would have never met had it not been for Twitter and Positively Cleveland putting me up on a follow Friday. A weekend DJ for WNCX. A totally kick ass chick from Cleveland, is the winner of our baby pool.

Her guess was 18:39 or 6:39pm. Addison arrived at 6:33pm.

Congratulations to Kasey. She will be winning a t-shirt from CLE Clothing Co.

Now because this post has gone on long enough. Here are some photos from yesterday, minutes after our little girl came into this world.

[Thanks again George, got a ton of comments on it!]

[Addison I would say about 1 minute old]

[Mommy and Addison, snuggling]

[Mommy and Addison are catching their breath]

[The 3 most important ladies in my life!]

[Chubby little lady, 9lbs 11oz 19 1/4 inches]

[off to bed with some fresh big sister PJ's]

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

The baby is coming

I am not going to lie. This post was not written this morning. I wrote it when I had time to write it.

Today is the day. It's 9-9-09. I am 29 years old this morning. 1 year shy of base camp. Today my wife is embarking on a journey that will forever change her. Physically, mentally, and although we are not huge church goers, spiritually. She is giving life to a child today, something I know nothing about and can never do. I am in awe of mothers everywhere.

I would be telling you a lie if I wasn't a fit nervous, excited, and petrified. My wife is about to go through THE most painful experience of her life, and I am going to be a glorified cheerleader. My wife is doing all the work. I'm just the spectator. I can sit and be comfortable. I can get up and pee when I feel like it. She is giving life. Everything in my life now seems to have the volume turned down.

With new life comes new concerns with my ability to parent. My biggest fear is for Audrey to feel forgotten. That is the last thing I want to have happen. I am sure it will not, but nonetheless the concern is in my brain. Many say that it would be nerve wracking if I didn't have that in my head. I would tend to agree.

My mission in life is to be the Dad to my children, that my dad never was to me. I saw him every other weekend for most of my life. Part of that was his choice of career, part of that was apathy. Did he care? Maybe? Did he make it known? Nope.

Many might say this is a cynical view to take, as I bitch and moan about not seeing my daughter because of work. Maybe it was the same with my dad? Maybe, but maybe not. The summer before last I saw my dad for the first time in close to 4 years. He made a surprise visit to Cleveland. He stopped at my brother's house. I saw him. I cried. After he left, I e-mailed him a few times. Still to this day I have not gotten a response back. He has seen his grand-daughter once in the last 5 years. He might not even see the new one we are about to welcome. He sends Christmas presents every year, but there is only so far that goes.

I try very hard to be there for my daughter. Be there on days I am not required to. Be there because I want to be there, not because social responsibility requires me to be there. I don't want to be a dad who just writes a child support check and thinks that that is enough. It's not.

With a new life comes new love. A part of me is scared of this love. How could I love another child as much as I love the one I already have? I haven't known unconditional love until Audrey was here. I haven't known what true love was until Audrey was here. How could I take all of this emotion and split it between two very very equal wholes? The anxiety of waiting is killing me. I don't know what to do with myself.

My wife is probably just getting into her room at this point. Wish us luck as we embark on a journey of discovery today.

You have your boarding pass.
Audrey has her backstage pass.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

All Access

Since this morning, I have been working on a ton of stuff. Getting the carpet vacuumed, cleaning the kitchen, and over all burning off of nervous energy. One thing has been on my mind all day. Well actually from quite sometime. What can I do to make sure Audrey isn't left out?

I have a really great thing planned for Audrey and her new sister that is coming soon. My friend Kasey calls me a rockstar all the time, so I decided to take the theme and run with it.

I want Audrey to feel important. Although I will have to divide my attention around more now, I don't want her to feel less important. So I am making it a point for her to be at the hospital when Addison is born. So to make it even more special, the graphic design artist that my wife is, went to work.

Everyone has a t-shirt that say they are a big sister.
Everyone has stickers.
Everyone has signs.
Everyone has something.

Audrey has a backstage pass, entourage, and driver.


I have bestowed upon Audrey the power of being a big sister. When the baby is born, the first visitor will be Audrey. No one will be allowed in the room until Audrey has her 5 minutes with her new sister. No friends. No grandparents. No other family. No pictures on Twitter or Facebook. Audrey is first. Then everyone else.

I want her to feel the pride when I walk out to the waiting room when the baby is born when she is the only one who can walk down the hall to visit the new baby and everyone else has to wait. I want everyone to notice the VIP pass she has around her neck and comment and give her a hug. I want everyone to understand that Audrey is a rockstar. I want everyone to notice how important she is.

With that being said, everyone knows how special their mother is. My mother is no exception. I never realized how special she was until she e-mailed me this afternoon.

Here is the contents of the e-mail with ZERO editing:

Ok…..so as you know….. the last time I got a Happy Meal at McD’s I got a teeny beeny baby Frog! Well….Saturday I got another Happy Meal and this time I got a little American Girl book for a doll named ………are you ready for this???

ADDY!!! How funny is that? So there’s this whole McDonald’s thing going on…..Gee, could it be that Daddy used to work for McD’s ……. OR does Dr. McDreamy have something to do with it….since the McAdams girls named their daughters Grey’s Anatomy names…… Izzy and Addison! Oh…..my mind is working overtime!


Like I said, she's special. Just a little backstory, frogs were the theme for the baby's room and Isabel is the name of my niece, which is Wifey's sister's baby. My wife's maiden name is McAdams, thus putting the "Mc" theme in everything.

I will keep you all posted on Twitter which then feeds into Facebook tomorrow.