Monday, August 31, 2009

How to: Sneak into a movie theater with a wife that's 9 months pregnant

*There is still time to enter the baby pool contest*

So here I sit. Tomorrow is wifey's due date, and we are still awaiting the arrival of our little bundle of joy. By joy I mean, pooping, spitting up, crying at all hours of the night, small handed, and cute footed, bundle of joy.

What is it about baby poop that makes parents all gooshey?

It's morning. The past few days have been, for the lack of a better word, boring. It's hard to get a very very pregnant woman excited about moving. She is feeling, well, pregnant. That means, but it not limited to, fat, ugly, tired, swollen, and over all miserable. I think she looks beautiful, but then again, I'm a guy, what do I know?

With nothing but time on our hands, we sat around all day, goofing around on the interwebs, we got tired of watching movies on TV around 3 or so. I decided that we needed to see a movie. The wife suggested Inglorious Bastards, but after viewing the trailer and reading what people are saying about it, we [she] decided that G.I. Joe might be a better choice. Less blood and guts, and more mindless action without purpose. It's a great way to get your mind off anything.

We also had the need for dinner, and milk shakes. What better place close to the theater than Steak N Shake? Greasy, lovely burgers, hand dipped milk shakes, and a side order of Lipitor.

Now, over the summer I have commented on several types of burgers. Pizza Burgers, Jucy Lucy's, and Bar Symon burgers. This Steak n Shake burger was awesome. Now I usually don't say that about chain burgers. The Whopper and Big Mac have a special place in hell, but I find myself eating them from time to time, but I fail to ever mention the extraordinary experience of eating them. This Steak n Shake burger, The Wisconsin Buttery, was great. They combine, red meat, grilled onions, cheese, and a huge dollop of butter. Either I was terribly hungry, or it was really really good, but my god, I wolfed it down. The Snickers Milkshake was more of a blizzard from DQ than a milkshake, but I drank [ate] it nonetheless.

After dinner, we headed over to the movie theater, about 30 minutes too early. Again, we are trying to get to things early so we can set the example for our unborn child. Get your ass in gear, you have about 37 hours left to still be considered on time.

My cousin works at the theater and we were planning on taking advantage of the, we know the ticket girl discount. Unfortunately, she is no longer the ticket girl. We asked the acting ticket girl where my cousin was, and she called her down to the lobby. We went into the concession area and waited. 22 minutes later still nothing. My cousin is really cool, and I text her a few times, and still nothing. So we did what any responsible adult would do. We snuck in. It was great, we walked the length of the concession stand a few times, I would glance at my BlackBerry a few times, and would motion to the wife in a way that would suggest we were waiting, and we were frustrated that our friends didn't show. Then we wondered right past the guy taking tickets, without giving him anything, and walked right into the movie theater. No one said a word. My cousin shot me a reply text and asked where we were. I told her we were able to sneak by the ticket guy and get a seat. Poor kid, we sneak in, then tell on him. My cousin is now the manager of the theater. Hope I didn't get him fired.

G.I. Joe was good, for a more comprehensive review, check out Ryno's Hollywood spin. I agree with his review.

Other than that, we are just.....waiting.....still.


Vodka Logic said...

At first I thought you cheated with the cousin working there, but seems you really pulled it off. Well done. Last chance to be a criminal before the new one is born.


Ekanthapadhikan said...

That's pretty daring, I'd say. To get your pregnant wife into a movie theater! But, by gosh! You seem to have enjoyed it. That's what matters! You're setting me an example!

Kyle said...

Another great entry! You should still see "Inglourious Basterds" one day because it's really good. (I actually wrote a blog entry about it.)

Amandalyze said...

Good job - I bet your wife had more fun sneaking in than actually sitting through the movie - good as it may be. This is one for the baby book, btw. ;>


omchelsea said...

So when do you plan to sneak in wife AND newborn? Because that would be seriously impressive.

~K said...

and keep waiting...I got labor Day in the pool! :-)

The_Mandinator said...

"Get your ass in gear, you have about 37 hours left to still be considered on time."? LOL!

My sister is 18 days away from her due date and is absoluelty miserable. She's been dragging me to the mall everyday, just to walk around... She's been trying to walk herself into labor... And my feet are killing me!