How to: Sneak into a movie theater with a wife that's 9 months pregnant

*There is still time to enter the baby pool contest*

So here I sit. Tomorrow is wifey's due date, and we are still awaiting the arrival of our little bundle of joy. By joy I mean, pooping, spitting up, crying at all hours of the night, small handed, and cute footed, bundle of joy.

What is it about baby poop that makes parents all gooshey?

It's morning. The past few days have been, for the lack of a better word, boring. It's hard to get a very very pregnant woman excited about moving. She is feeling, well, pregnant. That means, but it not limited to, fat, ugly, tired, swollen, and over all miserable. I think she looks beautiful, but then again, I'm a guy, what do I know?

With nothing but time on our hands, we sat around all day, goofing around on the interwebs, we got tired of watching movies on TV around 3 or so. I decided that we needed to see a movie. The wife suggested Inglorious Bastards, but after viewing the trailer and reading what people are saying about it, we [she] decided that G.I. Joe might be a better choice. Less blood and guts, and more mindless action without purpose. It's a great way to get your mind off anything.

We also had the need for dinner, and milk shakes. What better place close to the theater than Steak N Shake? Greasy, lovely burgers, hand dipped milk shakes, and a side order of Lipitor.

Now, over the summer I have commented on several types of burgers. Pizza Burgers, Jucy Lucy's, and Bar Symon burgers. This Steak n Shake burger was awesome. Now I usually don't say that about chain burgers. The Whopper and Big Mac have a special place in hell, but I find myself eating them from time to time, but I fail to ever mention the extraordinary experience of eating them. This Steak n Shake burger, The Wisconsin Buttery, was great. They combine, red meat, grilled onions, cheese, and a huge dollop of butter. Either I was terribly hungry, or it was really really good, but my god, I wolfed it down. The Snickers Milkshake was more of a blizzard from DQ than a milkshake, but I drank [ate] it nonetheless.

After dinner, we headed over to the movie theater, about 30 minutes too early. Again, we are trying to get to things early so we can set the example for our unborn child. Get your ass in gear, you have about 37 hours left to still be considered on time.

My cousin works at the theater and we were planning on taking advantage of the, we know the ticket girl discount. Unfortunately, she is no longer the ticket girl. We asked the acting ticket girl where my cousin was, and she called her down to the lobby. We went into the concession area and waited. 22 minutes later still nothing. My cousin is really cool, and I text her a few times, and still nothing. So we did what any responsible adult would do. We snuck in. It was great, we walked the length of the concession stand a few times, I would glance at my BlackBerry a few times, and would motion to the wife in a way that would suggest we were waiting, and we were frustrated that our friends didn't show. Then we wondered right past the guy taking tickets, without giving him anything, and walked right into the movie theater. No one said a word. My cousin shot me a reply text and asked where we were. I told her we were able to sneak by the ticket guy and get a seat. Poor kid, we sneak in, then tell on him. My cousin is now the manager of the theater. Hope I didn't get him fired.

G.I. Joe was good, for a more comprehensive review, check out Ryno's Hollywood spin. I agree with his review.

Other than that, we are just.....waiting.....still.

Jucy Lucy::Juicy Lucy

This summer has been packed full of great eats! I think my grill is the best purchase I could have EVER made since I bought my wife's engagement ring. I have been outside griling up a storm this whole summer. I used up my first tank of gas in, what felt like, 30 seconds, but my gas grill gets better gas mileage than a cash for clunker trade-in.

A few nights ago, I was watching a Man vs. Food episode where Adam went to MN. If you aren't familiar with a Juicy/Jucy Lucy, you aren't the only one. I had no idea what they were either. So before you continue, go read about them.

I have never been to MN, but I already don't like the Matt's Bar version. Their burger involves a type of cheese that I absolutely hate and I hope has it's own suite in Hell. American Cheese. I know I know, I should be a patriotic guy, but I can't eat it. There is something about peeling off the plastic wrapper that I just can't stomach. When I worked at McDonald's in high school is when I decided that I will never eat American cheese if I can help it. Bring on the cheddar! So with that being said, I will use the 5-8 Club version as my template. They use American, but they also use blue cheese, and god knows what else! Exciting ingredients equal an exciting meal!

So last night, I decided to try my hand at creating a meal that involves my favorite ingredients. A hunk of cheese, and hamburger.

Talk about a wonderful surprise. I think food that has a creamy and delicious center are awesome. [see also: Twinkie, cheddar wurst, boston creme doughnuts, Hostess Cupcakes]

Audrey really liked them, she almost finished one. [for those who didn't put that together yet, Audrey is my 7 year old daughter]

Wifey really liked them too. I mean just look at them. This is my version of culinary porn. This was my money shot!

That photo was taken with my Blackberry. Yeah, I know, it looks good. It was delish. My friend Julie posted photos of her awesome grilled cheese, but I say that, my burger is better than your grilled cheese. You decide!