When is it acceptable to poop at work? I think that is a fair question. Since I have started a new job, it's nice to revisit the subject as to remind myself of the proper etiquette before my bowels need to have a pyrotechnic show that would probably rival Thunder over Louisville.
The reason I ask this question as there is always that guy in the office that can't wait to get to work and drop a deuce. Usually it's a young guy who recently moved in with his girlfriend and is freaked out about scaring the girl off by the odoriferous colon he has in his pants. But, we often think of the nasty dumpers as dudes, but in my long career of working in small staffed offices, there are just as many girls who can poop with the best of them. Usually the girls who poop at work are also those who have recently moved in with their boy and are trying to keep up the guise that they don't poop. Just like they don't sweat, fart, or even stink after working out.
We all know that after about 2 years of living together, sharing a space, and even occassionaly enjoying a pleasurable romp in bed, that they do actually poop. They also sweat, and if your romps are good enough, sometimes you both stink and sweat after.
So this leaves me to pontificate the correct way to poop at work.
It is only acceptable to poop at work in the case of an extreme emergency. You know the, oh my god, that Chipotle Burrito washed down with the extra hot sauce emergency. The holy shit, I can't believe I ate the squirrel on lunch.
Recreational shitting is to be done in your own home, and not part of a regular routine at work.
Thank you for your time and consideration, now light that candle, it stinks in here.
Yarn and... teeth.
1 year ago