Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Family can be such a pain [Guest Post from Vodka Logic]

Hello Everyone, 

Last week I said I gave my brain a day off.  Well it really enjoyed it's vacation, so let's hope it return tomorrow.  Until then, here is a post from a good blogger buddy of mine from Boston.  She asked that she not be linked for fear her family might find her.  If you would like her link, just shoot me an e-mail


The hollow shell of a body that is sorely lacking it's brain


Firstly thanks Adam for letting me use your blog to vent some painful feelings. As the poem says I have been hurt yet again by my family. More specifically my sisters. For some reason I don't fit in, am not welcome in their lives. I have been through this with them before and was told I was selfish and one even called me offensive. That is one comment I can not shake. I do not have the same sensibilities, beliefs even interests as my sisters. I used to but things change... 

 They have read my blog, they separated themselves from it, canceling any connections they had with it. Apparently a few sharp words and naughty poems makes me offensive and a risk to be associated with. [I kid you not]

I have put my heart on my sleeve with some of my poems and they have never asked if I was ok, did I want to talk. [but I am selfish]

Anyway the following poem is what came out of me this morning. I don't need any more drama so Adam said he would let me post on his blog.

Pain is the only way.
That makes me write,
What I want to say.

Here I am alone again,
The black sheep strikes.
A broken chain.

I'd like to say I do not care,
I'm just not able.
All I say will seem unfair.

I'll hear the flack,
Be chastised
Told it's me that is slack.

Swatted away from above
Mistreated by family
Whom I love.

Grind it down into the dirt,
And bury it deep
I'll take the hurt.

My pain and sorrow
It will fade,
Lucky for me there is tomorrow.


Mel said...

Wow. If Boston Blogger Buddy ever needs someone to talk/vent to, I have been in such a similar endless cycle of family pain for most of my life.

I feel all the same pain you do, lady. And hate that I cannot vent about it on my blog either. It's like once I feel as though *I've* made an effort to repair one relationship, another goes down the shitter.

I never truly felt the judgmental mentality of my family until this past year (yes, somehow I'm the failure because I am unmarried & childless and because I JUST WANT TO ENJOY MY FREAKING LIFE, yet I'm still judged by decisions -- however wrong or unsuitable -- I made over ten YEARS ago!).

I decided to just cut everybody out who made me unhappy. It was probably the best (mental health) decision I ever made. Thoughts are with you because I know where you are. :)

(TQ, thanks for the vent. lol)

JP said...

I'm not close to my family... No particular reason, just not. My closest family lives 3 hours away and the most we chat is an occasional comment on each other's Facebook page.

Yet despite us not being close, I'm still rather dismayed when one of them travels to my city to do something, and doesn't even bother to say "Hey JP, I'm going to be there next Tuesday, it'd be nice to have dinner..." Hell even my parents will fly into town to travel up to my sister's house and won't take the time to stop and say hello... "Well, we're flying in and should be there around 6pm... then we're going to head out first thing in the morning, so I guess we'll see you up there." I have lived in the same house for about 10 years and I think I can count on 1 hand how many times my family has been to my house. I just don't really get it.

JP said...

Anyways I didn't mean to steal your post to vent myself... more trying to say I understand your pain, if only a little.

Will Burke said...

Nothin' like family drama, eh? My wife's side believes in keeping them all together, because they're family. and my side believes that accidents of birth aren't a liscense to be dicks! Both arguements have their place.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

It's horrible when the people we love can hurt us the most! Sometimes I wonder if I would even feel hurt if I just didn't love those that sometimes knowing me and my weaknesses the best caused me pain!

Sometimes, even though you want to be close to them it's best to let them go. Those friends that you are closest to become your family and your family becomes the stranger or acquaintance...

Life is to short to worry about those that cause you nothing but pain and indifference.

Great poem have such a great talent!

Broke But Still Drinking said...

When family members go on and on about me being selfish, I stop, give them a confused look and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, were you saying something?"

MiMi said...

Sounds like they are bitchy. :(
Probably a bunch of libtards. WOops! That just slipped out.

Joshua said...

Not cool on them. I wish my brother and I were closer, but we went different ways long ago. Hang in there.

I would also like to point out that my word verification is "poler." It made me chuckle and I hope it does you.

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

awww. I love me some Vodka Logic. I'll be your brother from another mother, or whatever the female version of that is.

Complicated Mama said...

Im so sorry your sisters mistreat you and make you feel this way :(

Family is family. They should never make one feel judged or out of place.

You can be my sister if you'd like--- I wont ever find or tell you that you are offensive or a "risk" for blogging and venting... what does that even mean "risk"?

Hang in there friend :)

Adam, so awesome of you for lending her a place to vent--- I know I often have times Id like to do the same-- maybe I'll shoot you an email next time ;)


I love vl and hate to hear these things.

Anonymous said...