Still Waiting

There is a certain anxiety that comes with waiting. The impending excitement. For me this is the delivery of my new daughter. It's like the grown up version of the night before Christmas. At least with Christmas, you know when you wake up, there will be presents there. My Christmas will come unannounced. I am excited to see what my new daughter will look like, act, yawn, and what color of her eyes will be. I am excited to see what kind of personality she will have. Until Tuesday comes with no delivery of the baby, I know this child inherited her mother's trait of being late.

December 31, 2008 my wife walked down the stairs and said, with a look of terror and happiness, "I'm pregnant." In my head I had dreamed of screaming, crying, and calling everyone I knew to tell them. Instead, it was quiet. I just shook my head. It just seems logical and right. That night we went to dinner with our family. The announcement was filled with excitement.

Now, nearly 9 months later, here I sit. Coffee to my right, feet up, and writing a blog. Waiting. The tings and twinges that my wife describes are getting more and more pronounced, and here we are. Still waiting.

Waiting for her water to break so we can pack in the car and get this baby born. Waiting for the doctor to tell her that, well you're dilated, time to go to the hospital and get this over with. Waiting to crest the longest ascent to the top of the roller coaster that is being a parent [again]. Just waiting.

It's awful. Every minute of my day is just filled with anticipation. Anticipating bringing home a new life. Anticipating molding a new woman into the world. Anticipating being a parent with my wife. [Jenn does great with Audrey, but there is just something different seeing a mother react to a child they gave birth to.] Anticipating how Audrey will react to a new child. Anticipating how my dog will react to the new child.

So here I am. Still waiting.