Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Who Throws A Shoe?

At the end of my post titled 'LZ Cheer' I promised that there would be photos of Audrey's "war".  Well I am sorry to say that something has happened in the news that cannot go un-commented by me.  

So you have heard that our President of the United States had a shoe thrown at him during a news conference in Iraq.  

Just to fill you in on the details, an Iraqi journalist is a bit pissed off that Bush came in and turned its country on its head.  Never mind that we unseated a tyrant dictator that more than likely made his mother and father gargle his mayonnaise and then was unmercifully killed execution style and then placed in an unmarked grave with about 1,000 other anonymous innocent people.  

Let's assume for a minute that this citizen of Iraq is justified in feeling that America is evil.  Let's assume he is telling the truth when he says we went to war with bad intelligence.  Why would you throw a shoe?  Really?  Isn't that a pretty chick move.  For a culture who is all about the man, and all about suppressing the women, this journalist did the equivalent of a women throwing her high heels at her husband who pissed her off.  

I have some advice for the people of Iraq.  Right now you are the face of the Arab world.  You guys feel that America thinks that your culture and blood are cheap.  You feel that America is the land of supreme evil because we are not a culture ruled by religion.  You are right, religion is not the center of our government.  You are wrong when we think that your blood and culture is cheap.  You have to somehow understand a majority of American's positions on the Arab world.  In the last 20 years there have been numerous terrorist attacks on innocent people.  I am not one to say America is not guilty in this, because Americans overseas in foreign country's make mistakes, but they are not random acts of terror.  We are not targeting the innocent civilians, we are targeting those who continue to undermine the progress of the Arab community.  Do I think America went to war with best intentions?  Yes.  Do I think that now that we realized our intelligence was bad we should get out?  No.  We created a huge mess, and now we need to clean up that mess.  I do feel that American forces need to take more of a back seat.  The reason your police forces are being targeted is because they are backed up by American forces.  So if we used the Segment Addition Postulation, the A= America B=American Forces and C=Iraqi Police then ab+bc=ac.  That means America multiplied by the American Military plus the American Military multiplied by the Iraqi Police equals America is the Iraqi police.  

I think that makes sense.  

So that is why Iraq is so upset.  I am a genius.  

So my advice to Iraq, which is a point I started before but got off on a tangent, don't throw shoes.  It solidifies the position of what you think America thinks of Iraq; that Iraqi people are a bunch of little bitches.  

P.S.- Had this journalist thrown a shoe a Saddam Hussein, he would have been tortured and executed.  Instead, he's being ruffed up a bit, and he will live through it.  You're welcome Mr. Iraqi Journalist.

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