In a world fraught with contradicting advice to parents, let my advice read loud and clear.If your child is over 1 year old, or for all you minivan driving, month-loving, suburbanites, 12 months, take the binky away and close up shop on the boobies.
Last week, after a great Friday, I stepped outside and took a fresh air getting walk. On my walk I discovered a mother and her son. I stopped and chatted. I learned, they too, were out getting some fresh air on a glorious sunny day in Cleveland.
This mother and son seemed like every other ordinary mom-son combo, except that this mother's son was about 3, almost 4 and was sucking on a pacifier like some porn star to Ron Jeremy. As we parted ways I couldn't help but just shake my head. Why would this parent allow that pacifier after age 4 [that's 48 months for all you hippies out there]?
I wish I could say that this woman is the only woman I've seen letting their child suck on a pacifier. Out in suburbia, this seems to be a trend.
As parents we have an obligation to raise children to be productive members of society. Children need to be active participants in their own lives. After age 1 [that's 12 months for you hippies] the pacifier is a 'shut up' tool. Instead of teaching your kids how to be quiet when appropriate, and doing what they are told with out back talk, you shove that pacifier in their mouth to shut them up. How is this teaching manners? How are you helping your child learn proper behavior? These parents are teaching their children to be socially retarded.
I am just disgusted with this trend of not harming your child's psyche. I can hear all you sheep parents out there, "...child will get depressed if I take that security away..." or "...my child won't know how to handle it well.." Guess what? It's called life. Get used to it.
If we let our kids hold onto their pacifiers, it can give them a false sense of entitlement, and not to mention all the dental problems that go along with this whole argument.
So why such a big deal over pacifiers? Well it's just like what the Republicans call a pot, a gateway drug. Ask George W. Bush, he knows.
If you don't tell your child no, the it will get even harder when they learn how to talk. You have to teach your kids things like, no, just like you teach your kids, yes.
There was this book about potty training your child in 24 hours I once read. I said, "..Often it is the parent who isn't ready rather than the child..." I think this holds true for this whole binky thing.
Often, 1st time parents have a hard time letting go of the baby phase as they grow into the toddler phase. Again, often times it is the first born with the biggest sense of entitlement, because all those parents read what to expect when your expecting and study it like some born-again Christian studies the Bible, and thumps it like some televangelist.
So to all those parents who might be reading this and say, "This guy has no clue" let me say this. I am the father of 2 kids and I have a 11 year old step-daughter from my first marriage. My first, Audrey, just celebrated her 8th birthday [96 months for you month-loving hippies] and I also have a 6 month old [today]. My oldest, on her first birthday, was taken off a bottle and onto a sippy cup. Her pacifiers were unceremoniously thrown away, and that was the end of it. No cute ceremonies, or stories of placing them on the Christmas tree so that Santa can use them for all the babies. No. We said no more, and that was that. What is wrong with telling your child no? Jesus Christ, get some balls!
Was it a long few weeks as she adjusted? You bet your ass it was, but it was a matter of resolve. Did my daughter slip into a deep depression and start cutting her wrists while she wore black lipstick and listened to Marylin Manson through the incense cloud? No. You can see the affects of the quick change today. She can handle change like no other child on this Earth. She has small bouts of shyness that is quickly overcome. She isn't a baby and order off the kids menu all the time either. She was potty trained in just 1 day [for you hippies, that's 24 hours]. She is a well adjusted, great kid. She is the best behaved kid I have ever seen. She can interact with adults and with other kids.
I not only talk the game, but I'm the fucking world champion.
**picture credit here**
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