Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Something worse than........

There is nothing in this world that says, suburbia than a mini-van full of kids and a bag full of soccer equipment. Soccer Mom's and Dad's are all the rage these days. They are getting all the credit for being over reactive, snooty, and even rich and arrogant.

I have found yet an new class of snob. defines snob as:

1.a person who imitates, cultivates, or slavishly admires social superiors and is condescending or overbearing to others.
2.a person who believes himself or herself an expert or connoisseur in a given field and is condescending toward or disdainful of those who hold other opinions or have different tastes regarding this field: a musical snob.

When you read Soccer Mom or Soccer Dad, read, Soccer Snob. Its unisex. This word doesn't discriminate.

Every Wednesday I take my daughter to cheer practice. I have heard my wife, my wife's friends, and even my ex-wife talk about the Cheer Mom's. Now there are not a lot of Cheer Dad's. The Cheer Dad's that are there, like myself, are just quiet because getting on a Cheer Mom's bad side, is much like throwing yourself on a grenade to save al-Queda. But I keep hearing Cheer Mom's this and Cheer Mom's that. I think it is time to tell the world what the dark under belly of competition cheerleading is.

I have come to reduce being a Cheer Mom is the realization that you have 3 kids, have a husband who makes a little money, and used to be the hottest thing in high school/college. You used to be on the cheer squad, get all the hot football players, and somewhere after the freshman 15 and then the mommy pouch 30, you lost that look, and your hot football player boyfriend turned into the couch potato husband who drinks a 6 pack a day and can't keep it up to get you off anymore, and then to capture the magic of yester-year, you push you young daughter into the world of competition cheerleading, so she can somehow live the life you haven't lived. The purpose for Cheer Mom is to live through their child.

Today at cheer practice I have learned that Cheer Mom's are the nastiest things in this world. I sat in the bleachers at practice with the other Cheer Mom' for the first time, ever. They didn't know who I was, but I knew who they were. I knew that mommy #1 in the corner with the muffin top is in the mom of the nice talented girl in the front row. I knew that mommy #2 with the laptop and the Mercedes out front, is the adopted mother of the only black girls on my daughter's team. These ladies, didn't know me. If they knew me, they didn't talk to me.

I sat in the back row and observed the practice. It was pretty rough. The girls didn't know the routine and were making simple mistakes. The mom's would watch and try and coach their respective kids via hand signals and head nods. I did nothing to help my daughter. She didn't need to be looking at me to learn, she needs to look to the coach. Now my daughter was making a lot of mistakes, but was not the only one making mistakes. Everytime my daughter made a mistake, the mom's would talk. I couldn't hear them so I sat closer. Now that I could hear, it was clear they were not happy with the progress of my daughter's skills. Now when it comes to my daughter, I get a little defensive.

I reserved space in my blog for my response because I lack the balls, and have a conscience about the attitudes of adults infront of children to say what I really feel at practice.

Hey fat ugly has been sitting on the bench. Shut the fuck up! You and your nice car, nice hair cut, but fat ass muffin top need to take you and your attitude and shove it up your ass. You sit here all high and mighty talking about how MY daughter's mistakes, but you overlook the mistakes of your flesh and blood. You are not in high school and if you were any good at being a cheerleader, then you would still be doung it, but your not. You are sitting on your ass at home day in and day out, washing the socks of your fat and lazy husband, and you're miserable. Don't take your frustrations at your failure in life our on my daughter. Take you and your opinions and get a fucking job and contribute to this economy because you are the reason we are in this recession!

Whew, I feel better. Stupid bitches.

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